Are you a people pleaser?

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.
— Raymond Hull

Are you ones of those people who bends over backwards to please everyone? If you are, then you are shorting yourself. I try to always go the extra mile for my clients, but there is a line I draw. Why? There are always people who will be grateful for what you do for them and then there are others who just expect it.

Many people are afraid to say "No" when people ask them to do things. They don't want to be the one to disappoint someone else, but what about when you are disappointed? Most people pleasers suck it up and think that they will eventually be able to make everyone happy.

It is one thing to want to make sure your family, friends, and clients are happy, but it is definitely another thing when you allow people to walk all over you. I had a client who I had done everything I could to make her happy. I had forgiven her several times when she flaked on me, I tried to be accommodating to her schedule, and I finally got fed up.

One of my professors told me that it is OK to fire your clients if they are not contributing to your business. I am one of those types of people who does not like confrontations and I try to stay below the radar. I was really afraid to fire her. I felt bad that I might hurt her feelings. After two months I finally got up the nerve to fire her. Guess what? I didn't feel bad afterwards. Instead I felt relief.

I still will do little things here and there to make someone feel better, but I have learned my boundaries and where I will draw the line on pleasing people. What are your boundaries?

How to stay young!

I received this in an email and totally believe it's true.

1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches.)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And i f you have a f riend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

Lost time can never be found!

Do you forgive those that have wronged you?

Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.
— Harriet Nelson

I have had many times during my life where someone has wronged me. Some of these wrongs were small and others were bigger. I could spend the rest of my life holding on to my anger towards the person, but what good will that do me? Many people get physically sick over the bad feelings that they harbor towards others. And there are still others who take their bad feelings too far and end up in trouble.

When you are able to forgive someone, it lifts that weight off your shoulders. No one is asking you to forget what happened, but your heart only has so much room in it. If it is filled with bad feelings, then there is no room for the good feelings. If someone has committed a wrong against you that they can never be fully punished for, your being angry will not bring any more justice to you.

There will always be people in this world, family, friends, strangers, clients, and so on, who commit wrongs against people who have no remorse for what they did. You will find others who really are sorry for the actions they took and they try to make amends for those wrongs. Is it really your place to put judgment on them?

If you want a heart that is full of love and happiness, then you need to forgive.

What's your definition of success?

There is a gigantic difference between earning a great deal of money and being rich.
— Marlene Dietrich

When I was growing up my family was far from being rich. I remember eating mustard sandwiches when I was younger. However, we were rich in other things. My mom, two sisters, and I would stand up in the living room and sing songs from the South Pacific soundtrack and put on our own show. I set up my own library for everyone to check out my books, we had a grocery store in the kitchen, and my sister had a little tent that was our Post Office. We had fun playing and thought we were so cool. I was rich with love and family.

When I first started my business, and even to this day, I am asked, "How successful are you?" Yes, my business makes enough money that I can splurge on all kinds of fun stuff, but that is not being successful to me. I love the fact that I get to stay home with my kids and I get to travel on getaways with my family and that I am able to share my knowledge with others.

I get to enjoy my family and friends I have and the new acquaintances I make every month. I am receiving my college diploma in May at my graduation ceremony. One I didn't need, but that I take great pride in earning because of all of the wonderful knowledge I was taking in that I could share with others. I can control whether I get to sleep in all day or whether I am creating a new product for others.

I am rich and successful and it does not have anything to do with my bank account.

Multitasking is not always a good thing

Ok, I know we are all trying to get a million things done, but I learned recently that multitasking does not always work. I was driving out to a client's home to pick up some dry cleaning. I was sick with a cold so I should have known not to answer the phone while I was driving. Why? After listening to some woman ramble on about her business and where she wanted to take it, mind you she was not making any sense during our conversation, I started to hack up a lung.

So here I am driving along PCH, I have the phone in one hand, the steering wheel in the other, and I am trying to open up a bottle of something to drink because I am coughing really bad. I started to swerve because I was having trouble trying to open up the bottle and I am wishing she would just shut up and get off of the phone, but of course she keeps rambling on even after she hears me coughing horribly.

Needless to say I had to swerve back into my lane, put the drink between my legs and open it up that way, take a swig, and then tell her I had to go. I safely got to where I needed to go, but after that near miss I stopped answering the phone the rest of the day. Multitasking is only good for certain things, like putting a load of dishes on to wash while you are rushing to put a load of laundry on so you can get back to your show before the commercials end.

What lie are you telling yourself?

A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future.
— Anonymous

The biggest lie of all is "Everyone can do it!" The truth is that not everyone can do everything. If an Average Joe succeeds, suddenly every Average Joe thinks that they can do it too. The truth is that some will succeed and others won't. In the concierge and errand industry, not everyone who sets out to start their own business will be able to make a go of it. Why not? It is not necessarily about whether they have the money or not to. Rather, it is because not everyone has the skills or attitude to do so.

I have seen all kinds of people enter this industry. Those that are looking to make a quick buck, those wanting to stay home with their kids, those looking to get out of the rat race, those who have the personality and no skills, those that have the skills but the attitude is all wrong, and the list could go on and on. Some will succeed, while many others don't. It is heartbreaking for those that truly want to do this, but lack the training or skills necessary to really make it work.

In life, it is the same. My youngest son played flag football for the city this past fall. I had so much fun watching him play and watching him have fun himself. Whether he won or not was not a problem with me, but you could tell it was for many parents. The truth was, not all of those kids had the skill or attitude to win. My son, being one of the biggest boys on his team sure had the skills to win. He had a tiny kid shaking in his boots when he had to face my son at the line of scrimmage. But my son does not have that "take no prisoners" attitude. He was helping kids up when they fell, even if they were on the other team. He wouldn't make it past the first day of boot camp in the NFL if I was to send him there today. I don't want to start a lie today that will not hold up later in life, so I tell him it is all about having fun now.

I enjoy my Sudoku puzzles. Do I have the skills to complete the puzzles? Yes. Do I have the attitude to complete the puzzles? Yes. Am I the fastest person out there? No. Am I disappointed? No. The reason why? I already told myself the truth when I started. The fact of the matter is that there are probably tons of people out there who are able to complete their puzzles much quicker than I am able to.

When you are contemplating a business, a hobby, a job, or pretty much anything else in life, you need to evaluate what your skills and attitude are at that moment. You need to lay all of the facts out on the table. If you are honest with yourself, you may find that you really want to do it, but lack the skills. You may find that training will be what you need to get ahead or you may find that no matter how much training you get, you just will not be able to do it. You may find that you have years of experience that you have been building, but once you dig deep into what really needs to be done, you may realize that whatever it is may just not be your cup of tea or you may find that this is something you've been waiting to do for years.

If after analyzing everything you still lie to yourself right now, where will it take you in the future?

"Sorry" can be a hard word to say

Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift. — Margaret Lee Runbeck

For most people, saying that they are sorry for something gone wrong can be one of the hardest things to do. You know that feeling you get when the word is stuck right there in your throat and you want to say it, but it just doesn't want to come out. Everyone likes to feel that they are right. For you to be wrong and then have to admit to it to someone other than yourself can really get to some people.

I was watching ER the other night and this gentleman, Mr. Ames, had one of the doctors on the roof of his home with a gun pointed at him. The doctor had messed up and now the guy couldn't use his left arm, his wife left him, he lost his home; his whole world was just falling apart. All he had really wanted from the doctor was an apology. The doctor finally admitted he was wrong and the guy seemed to be at peace with that, yet he killed himself after that. That was an extreme case, but you could tell the difference in Mr. Ames' face after those three words were said.

If you are running a business, you have to learn the word "sorry" and use it. If you were running late, the client received the wrong item, you forgot to do something, or whatever else it was, accept responsibility. A person is more willing to give your company a second chance if you accept responsibility and apologize to them. Obviously if you take your apology a step further it raises that chance of a customer returning even higher.

I have stuck my foot in my mouth on plenty of occasions, both personally and professionally. It feels a little unpleasant at the moment, but I do tend to feel better about the situation once I have offered an apology to someone. It also helps to be sincere when using the big "S" word.

We teach our children that they should say they are sorry whenever they do something wrong to someone else, yet as adults it is harder for us to do the same thing. Apologizing does not make you less of a person; in fact it makes you more human. As humans we are not perfect so that means that we make mistakes. Apologize for them.

What do you live for?

What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
— George Eliot

I have to admit that as the owner of an errand and concierge service that my main duty is to make someone's life less difficult. But what about outside of the job? What do you do for others?

For me, I try to say "Please" and "Thank you" as often as possible. If you have your blinker on and I see you struggling to get over, I let you in. If I am in a restroom and I notice that the lady behind me looks like she is about to wet herself, I let her go in front. If I am in public and notice that you are elderly, disabled, or it looks like you are having difficulty manuvering the door, I hold it open for you. All of these acts help to make someone else's life less difficult.

What about in your business? Do you do things to make life less difficult for your customers? Little things and big things all count. It could be taking credit cards as payment. It could be staying open a little longer for that client who really needs your last minute help. It could be that thank you card you leave for your client after you have finished a house or pet sitting assignment. It could be calling to check in on a client who isn't feeling well.

For my husband and children I make sure that they get up in the morning for their activities, I hand over my money so that they can do the things that they like to do, I make sure that they have clothes on their back and food to fill their bellies. Ok, I have also been known to help with homework a time or two. I accomodate their schedules even when it interfers with mine. I do this to make their lives as easy as possible.

Life in general is difficult. Instead of adding to life's difficulties, why not take action to subtract one of those difficulties when you can. This includes your life as well.

Can you move forward?

I watch the TV show Men in Trees. I have to admit that I love when Marin Frist asks questions on her radio show that pertain to what is going on in the show and her advice at the end of each show.

Her latest piece of advice was "Sometimes in order to move forward you have to stop looking back. It is always tempting to stick with what is safe, what is comfortable... You might never feel ready to ... move on, but you have to because that is how we grow and growing is what it is all about."

I talk with clients on a weekly basis who are still stuck at first base. They tell me that they have all of their forms ready, they have received their business license, they have their marketing materials in place, and all of their other ducks in a row, yet they haven’t started their business yet. They are frozen to their seat and unable to get up and take the first step. I always ask them what is holding them back. Their answer? Fear.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fear means an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation. It implies anxiety and usually loss of courage, such as fear of the unknown. Of course it is scary to get out there and start your own business. I was so scared when I first was starting that I kept dragging my feet about. Finally someone told me “Just get out there or your business will never be a success.” I had my own anxieties. “What if no one wants my services?” “What if everyone says I am charging too much?” “What if I don’t do it right?” So many What If’s and no actual movement on my part.

I decided to finally take the plunge. Every time I would go out to talk to someone about my business my hands would get clammy and I would start to breathe a little harder, but as I kept talking to people and got my speech down, things got easier. I was able to talk to people with a genuine smile without that feeling of anxiety. I got my first client and then the anxiety started back up. Once I was able to get through a few errands for him, my anxiety level started to come down a little bit.

I have learned many lessons along the way. Some I have liked and others I didn’t. But that is what built me up to be a stronger person. Sure I have had people reject my services along the way, but I realized that it wasn’t me personally that they were rejecting, but my business at that point in time. Even after all of the years I have been in business, I still have twinges of anxiety when meeting a new corporate client or launching a new product or service, but if I didn’t get a little anxious it would make life boring for me.

It takes a lot of work to make a go of a business, regardless of the industry someone is in. Find support that will help you move forward. It could be books, seminars, classes at the local college, a friend’s shoulder to cry on, a mentor program, or a group of business owners that you can set up to cheer you on.

As humans we grow physically from infants to adults. As business owners we need to grow mentally and expand outside of the safe, comfortable box we have created for ourselves. This is the only way we can succeed.

A little vino for the harried mom?

This morning I was watching The Today Show and they had a segment about mothers who break out the wine while their kids are over for a play date. Who in their right minds mixes wine and sandboxes? During the segment I was appalled to see wine glasses sitting on different playground equipment in the background and a bottle of wine chilling on the patio table while a little girl was sitting there drawing.

The woman they were interviewing even had the nerve to say something along the lines of, "Well for those that can go 15, 16, 17 hours with their kids and be sober, I want to see if they are a good mother." Basically she was telling America that you need to drink to be a good parent. I personally think that I am a good mother and I honestly don't need a drink to make it through the perils of motherhood like she does.

I understand about the whole socializing part, which trust me I needed to talk about more than Sesame Street and Bob the Builder at times, but why does alcohol have to be involved? Are you trying to tell me that you can't hold a conversation unless you are sloshing down some wine? In social settings, such as dinner or a party with other adults, I can understand if people drink, but why do you need to relax with wine when you are supposed to be making sure that Bobby doesn't fall off the slide or Susie isn't eating dog poop she found in the yard?

If you really are stressing out from having to raise your kids, why not have a Parents Social Hour where everyone meets somewhere and there are hired babysitters to keep an eye on the kids while you unwind with some cheese and wine?

I was reading the message boards regarding the show and someone had the audacity to say that it was ok to drink wine around your kids because wine tastes good, it helps you to relax, it is sophisticated, and it helps you teach your children about social drinking. I don't know about you, but why would you want to teach a toddler how to socially drink anyways? And who is trying to be sophisticated when they have baby drool sliding down their shirt?

Having a drink to unwind is fine, but be sensible when and where you are doing it.

I hate time zones!

I feel that that they should create a Time Zones for Dummies book, including a pull out map of the world that already has the time zones in place. Apparently some people just pick up their phone and start dialing without even thinking about what time zone the other person is in. If you are calling your mother down the road, no problem, but if you are calling another person for business reasons and they are not located in your state, then you should think it through.

For example, this morning I received a business call at 6 am. Not only did I feel my heart beat faster the first time they called and woke me up out of a sound sleep, but within a fifteen minute time period they called three more times and left two messages. To be quite honest, I am sleeping at 6 am. I don't know about you, but I can get cranky if I have to wake up before my alarm clock, especially when the person is a continuous caller and I then cannot get back to sleep.

Ok, you call me at 5 am one time, I chalk it up to forgetting about the time zone. If you continue to call me every minute and I haven't answered your call it means one of three things. One, I am on the other line with someone. If you leave a message I swear I will return your call. Two, I am sleeping. Three, you have called me more than once before 8 am Pacific Standard Time and have made me mad. Do number three and I promise you that you will be the last call of the day. If I look at my clock and realize that it is past 6 pm your time, being the nice person that I am, I will not return your call until the next morning.

I have to put together monthly chats that include international members. I take the time to look online at the different world time zones so that I can include as many people as possible without them having to be up at some gosh awful hour in the middle of the night.

Since I do not have the power to adjust the time zones so that they are all the same, all I ask of you is that you pay attention to the number you are calling and where they are located the next time you get up bright and early to take care of phone calls first thing in the morning.

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.

This quote is from Auguste Rodin. I have to admit that this is very true. I make mistakes every day of my life. Some big, some small. What I try to do is take something from that experience and apply it to my life, my work, and my family.

Although I have three children, who range in age from 9 to 14, I still learn new things about how to take care of them. What may have worked for my oldest does not necessarily work for my youngest. Some boo boo's I made with my middle one have not been passed on to my youngest. I also have fun learning from my children and my husband. Although this baby making machine has hit the "stop" switch, I can take these lessons to heart and use them with my grandchildren, far, far in the future.

Would you believe I have also made mistakes with my business? I know, you're probably thinking "Really, I would never expect that of her", but yes I have to admit it. I have learned and continue to learn and apply these changes. I used to not charge for shipping, waaaaay back in the day, when I first started selling my products. Then I realized that I was taking money out of my own pocket. That practice stopped after about one year.

When I first started my errand service I used to offer free advice to anyone that wanted it. I didn't mind doing so, but the time it took to do so was not helping me grow my business. I had an Aha! moment. Why not create a book and other products and sell them. At least I would be compensated for my time instead of working for nothing.

My husband has definitely not taken this quote to heart when it comes to cars, although he is getting better. We have gone through more cars than the amount of years we have been married, and let me tell you it seems a lot longer than the 15 years we have been married. We nag and bother each other, but what we do for 23 hours out of the day if we didn't.

My youngest son has learned that you do not place metal or paper into the microwave when he tried to set it on fire two times recently. My husband had to run into the kitchen to save the kitchen. After making him clean the mess and telling him that he would have to live in the garage if he burned down our home, he has taken our advice to heart. Plus, it doesn't hurt that I have pictures taped to the cupboard above the microwave showing him the things not to place in there with a huge red X over them.

Oh, I have also learned that when you are backing up in your husband's truck and hit a branch and it puts a dent in the back of the truck, to blame it on him and continue to do so years after the fact. Tell him that it must have been one of those times he was in a hurry to back up and wasn't paying attention and he didn't realize what happened until after he looked at his truck several days later. I am not saying that I did this exactly, but that this is an experience that can be learned from.

Take your experiences in life and learn from them so that they do not become a waste of time.

Open the door for someone and your heart

Have you ever been out somewhere and seen someone struggling with packages, a wheelchair, their small children, or even a door and watched as people passed them by left and right without a passing glance? I have every day.

I happened to be at the Post Office yesterday and I was pulling into a parking spot I noticed that a woman in a van who had pulled into the spot next to me had parked and gotten out of her car to help a woman two spots over who was struggling with several packages that she could hardly carry to into the Post Office.

A couple of days after Christmas I happened to be in Michael's Craft Store. As I was at the register I could see a woman a couple of spots behind me in line struggling with her items she was going to purchase. She hadn't gotten a cart because she thought she was only going to grab a thing or two. I had prepared and grabbed a cart. The lady in front of her and behind her kept picking up little boxes she kept dropping. I emptied my basket before I reached the cash register, since I could pile everything into my two hands and offered her my cart. Even though no one was obligated to help her out, we all felt it was the right thing to do.

I went to dinner last night with my husband and youngest son and the little boys in front of me opened up the door so I could pass through. Each of the boys held a different door open. They didn’t have to, but they were trained well. I told each of them thank you.

Recently there was the news story about the gentleman who jumped on the tracks of the subway to save a man who was having a seizure. He didn't spend long thinking about doing it. He just did it. Although he is getting a hero's welcome everywhere, I am sure that was far from his mind when he gave of himself to someone else.

Not everyone will appreciate your gesture, as some act as if you are obligated to do so for them because they hold the special title of “I am the almighty something or other.” I would love to tell you what that something or other is, but I think you get the gist of what it would be.

The unappreciative are the ones that even if they don’t say a word or acknowledge your actions, you will know deep inside that you helped. All it takes it just a moment of your time to do something simple for someone and those that are truly thankful for what you did will not only appreciate it, but your heart will as well.

New Year's Goals

Resolutions, goals, whatever you want to call them, they still boil down to the same thing year after year. Empty promises made with the excitement of another new year and another new beginning. "I'm going to..." and "This year I plan to..." get you pumped up with anticipation of finally accomplishing what you really want to get done this year, whether it is losing weight, making more money, vacationing somewhere, or cleaning your house. Then comes the disappointment and frustration during the year when another failure is swept under the rug.

Each year you get one year closer to death and lose another year of could have's and should have's. Take a stand this year and get it done. Words are just words. As they say, "Actions speak louder than words." Don't list twenty million things you want to accomplish during the year. List one thing. One thing only? Yes, because if you could have accomplished it last year it still wouldn't be on your list.

If businesses want to succeed they need to create a business plan. You need to create your own personal plan and write it down. The objective will be that goal. List all of the steps that you will need to do to accomplish it. When you start to write out the details of something, it makes you take a good hard look at what will or won't work.

Make a collage and post it in a place where you will see it everyday to remind you of what you want to do. This is good especially if you want a new car, new home, a special place you want to travel to, a new office instead of a spare room in your home, and so on.

Go and accomplish your goal for 2007!

I don't wanna grow up

Yesterday I had dropped my daughter off at a slumber party, my youngest son was at his cousin's house for the night, and my husband and the dog were visiting his parents. That left me and my oldest son at home. I was a little bit cranky as this week is finals and I am stressing to make sure I keep all of my A's in my classes. I had the door to my bedroom open and I heard him watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in his room. Mr. "I am too good to be involved in childish things". It made me stop in my tracks. Instead of going on with my work I thought was important, I stopped everything I was doing and joined him to watch the movie. Then I wanted to get ice cream. We paused the movie and hit up the local Baskin Robbins. We also grabbed some Burger King and headed back home to enjoy our spoils. We finished watching the movie in the living room and were dancing around and singing all of the songs. It was so much fun and for that time I forgot about all of my worries and enjoyed what childhood time I have left with a 14 year old young man. When I was younger I couldn't wait to grow up, but once I had grown up I decided I wanted the freedom of childhood. It is great when your children can bring you back to the good old days.

What is love?

This is a little ditty my 13 year old daughter wrote and I thought that it sums up love pretty well.


Wait for the boy that makes you smile like no one has before
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear drop...
Love never has a happy ending because true love never ends
A boy is never worth your tears and the one who is will never make you cry
And yes boys are secrets and lies so when you get screwed over don't be surprised!!!!!!!!
Never regret something you did in life that you didn't like because everything you did leads to something you have always wanted...
Don't fall in love with someone you can live with
You should fall in love with someone you can't live without...
The truth is that everyone is going to hurt you in someway, but you just have to decide who is worth the pain and if you can't get someone out of your head then maybe they are meant to be there...
The only thing that really matters though is just to follow your heart and eventually you will get it right
Once you promise not to forget the day you met or the day you kissed, then the sky might fall and the stars might too, but in the end he will always love you!!!!!!!!!!

Read the Fine Print

Yesterday I was at my son's flag football game cheering him on to victory. There was one play that his coach had them pull off for a touchdown. My son was the center and pretended like he was going to snap the ball to the quarterback. What really happened was that he handed the ball between his legs to the quarterback, the other team thought the ball had been handed off and had gone to one side, but the quarterback took the ball and ran all of the way to the goal line. None of the parents on our side even knew what had happened until everything had been said and done. When the game had ended and my son and I were walking back to the car we were talking about that surprise play and rehashing the whole thing. He was telling me, "Well, that is why it was called Hide and Seek. No one saw it coming. You have to read the fine print." I have to admit that I was laughing my behind off because it was so funny coming from the mouth of an 8 year old.

On the way home my mind start thinking about what he had said and how that applies to many things. Many people who need to sign a contract, regardless of whether they are purchasing something or wanting to download something on their computer or are signing up for a service, usually barely glance at the fine print. I admit that I don't always read the fine print. I assume that everything will be fine. But what about when something goes wrong and you have to go back to that fine print? Sometimes you find yourself screwed.

For example, with credit cards they will send you mailers that describe the terms and the changes for your account from time to time. If you were to look closely at those terms though, you would see that they have the right to change the APR at their discretion regardless of whether you are a good customer or not.

I found a great article that talks about how the buyer should beware by Jean Chatzky. It is located at: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15548380/. After reading some of the things in her article, it makes me want to read the fine print a little bit more as I feel a bit taken advantage of in a few things in my life. From time to time I want to give my husband back to his parents and they keep telling me I should have read the fine print. Darn it!

What about in your own business? Do you go over your contracts with your clients to make sure that they fully understand what you are going to stick to them if they don't follow your rules? If not, it could come back to bite you on the behind. Remember the scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where Willa Wonka is going over the contract and the print keeps getting smaller and smaller and no one knows what it says? Grumpy customers, regardless of whether they should have read the fine print or not, will not use your service or products again no matter how great they are if they feel they were taken advantage of.

What's the worst they can say?

When I was at the ICEA Conference in Chicago Tracy Lyn Moland said in one of her speaking sessions that you should ask for what you want. The worst they can say is "No". If you don't ask, you never know what you are missing out on. I was talking to my husband about it and I told him we needed to start doing it more.

Although I have asked for things in the past, I thought I could brush up on my asking skills. When my husband and I were at Disneyland recently, we were just getting ready to get on Splash Mountain when the ride broke down. The guy next to us had stated that two of the rides he had tried to get on earlier in the day had broken down when he was just getting ready to get on the ride.

My husband and I went to City Hall and explained how dissatisfied we were with the way things were going. They not only apologized, but gave us Fastpasses for three rides. Then we happened to go to Pizza Port to grab some dinner before heading over to Space Mountain for use of our first Fastpass. Apparently there was a staff shortage and everyone had to wait in line just to pay for their food. People were really starting to get irritated.

I have never seen this bad of service in one day during my many years of visiting Disneyland. I was very surprised. My husband and I finally made it to the front of the line and my husband started to complain again, this time about the wait. The gentleman apologized and said that half of the cashiers did not show up for their shift. When my husband asked if speaking to the manger would help, the Cast Member said it wouldn't and then turned around and gave us a 15% discount on our bill.

One thing that didn't hold us back was the fact that if they had said "No", we would just move on to someone who could say "Yes". When you let that first "No" get to you, it is hard to move past that and continue to ask for what you want. If you look at the bigger picture, such as the person you are asking is not in a position to tell you "Yes" or you need to follow a certain procedure to get what you want, then you will realize that it is not your fault and you should keep moving ahead.

When my husband went to ask for what he wanted, he was honest about what he wanted from the situation and they were able to accommodate him. If you are asking for new business, be passionate about why you are asking for the person's business. Explain to them what you can give them in exchange for what they can give you, which is their business.

If you are looking for someone to write a guest article in your newsletter, just ask. As Chat Director of ICEA we would not have had some of the guest speakers we have had in the past if I did not take the initiative to take the first step, whether it was an email or phone call. I just keep pushing ahead to the next guest speaker.

You never know how many of your dreams and goals will come true until you ask. All I am asking of you right now is to take a few moments and think about what you really want, make a list, and start asking the people that can help you fulfill those dreams and goals.

The Entrepreneurial Spirit Starts Young

I was in the car with my youngest son today and as we were coming home from picking up some food he told me, "Every time you take a breath of air, you owe me a quarter." I asked him why I would owe him any money and he told me that he invented oxygen. When I told him that he didn't invent oxygen he said to me, "Well, I have to find a way to earn money and this is how I am doing it, so pay up." I could not help but give out a good hearty laugh. Every time I took a breath he would tally up the amount of quarters I owed him.

It made me think about when I was younger and what I would do to earn money. In the summers I would set up a snow cone stand. I had a table I would set up at the bottom of the driveway with a big sign attached to it announcing "Snow Cones For Sale" and the price. I had my Snoopy Snow Cone Machine, cups, and little spoons set up along with my cash box. When I would see people I would call out, "Come and get your snow cone." The lady across the street was having some work done on her house one summer and the workers were my biggest customers.

I also was the neighborhood pooper scooper. I always charged extra for bigger dogs that had bigger bathroom issues. It was a dirty job, but someone had to do it and I needed money to buy goodies. In addition I was the neighborhood bakery. My mom has passed along her favorite recipe for Pumpkin Cookies with brown sugar icing to me. We would, as a family, bake them during the fall months and then I would place the packages of cookies in our wagon, different amounts of cookies for different prices, and go up and down the blocks in my neighborhood selling the cookies. My other job I had was a paper route. A lot of work for a little bit of money, but it was still cold, hard cash.

In junior high I was looking for extra money so I could buy food at the snack shack. I would go to the local liquor store before school and take my change and buy those little packages of cinnamon sticks for $ .10 each. I would then take them to school and sell them for a quarter each. I made a profit to get my egg sandwich or candy bar and have enough left over to go buy more cinnamon sticks the next day.

My own kids have picked up the entrepreneurial spirit themselves from watching me run my own business. My oldest son set up his own mobile auto detailing business in my mother's neighborhood a couple of summers ago. When they first started selling the Mr. Clean car washing kit, he saved his chore money in order to purchase it, with a coupon of course. He started with my mom's car and then my two sisters' cars. He added a neighbor's car here and there and earned clothing money that summer.

All of my kids help me out on their spring and summer breaks. They perform the pet sits and dog walking and my daughter goes shopping with me. I didn't have money when I was younger so I had to be creative about earning it. Although I have the ability to hand money over to my kids when they need it, I want them to learn about earning money in order to get the things they want, not the things they need. I always tell them, "Your boss isn't going to just hand you a check because you need the money. You have to work for that money." They will do extra chores outside of their regular ones, help me with my business, or go around the neighborhood to find work or ways to earn extra money, including hunting down rats for the neighbor.

Regardless of what my children grow up to be in their adult professions, at least they have the entrepreneurial spirit and know what it is like to work hard for themselves for each dollar they earn. For those of you who have started your own business, regardless of what it is, I am sure your entrepreneurial spirit started young.

Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.

The above quote is by Ralph Waldo Emerson. I thought it was very apropos considering some of the people I have run into this week. I have to be honest here. My mom ingrained manners into my head so much that I automatically say "Please" and "Thank you" without batting an eye, just as I easily take a breath without thinking about it. Even when I have fits of silent road rage or I am upset about something and tend to go off on little tirades, at the end of the day my manners are still there. If I am out in public and use my manners, people have looks of surprise in their eyes as if I had just uttered the magic words that no one else knows.

I have opened many a door to see the person glide through, not say a word, and act as if they are the King or Queen and as their lowly peasant it's my job. Sorry, but it's not my job. I am just trying to be courteous. Just this week I had a salesperson taking on the phone and look at me, as I came to the register, as if I was interrupting something important. I thought that as a paying customer that maybe I should come first, as I am paying for them to stand there and talk with their friends. Just a wild thought on my part I guess.

It reminds me of that Liberty Mutual commercial they currently have playing where the gentleman at the beginning picks up a doll that the little girl in the stroller drops and hands it to her. Someone sees him doing it, they in turn help someone out, someone sees them helping, and the cycle goes on and on until the end of the commercial where someone helps by picking up the stuffed toy the beginning guy's child drops and gives it to the child.

I know this is a dog eat dog world now and that manners, along with great customer service, have pretty much flown out the window, but if we could all take the time, about 5 seconds or less, to say "Please", "Thank you", "No thank you", "Excuse me", and so on, maybe the world will catch on to this wild haired idea and start to do the same thing.

Thank you for reading this.