Are you a people pleaser?

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.
— Raymond Hull

Are you ones of those people who bends over backwards to please everyone? If you are, then you are shorting yourself. I try to always go the extra mile for my clients, but there is a line I draw. Why? There are always people who will be grateful for what you do for them and then there are others who just expect it.

Many people are afraid to say "No" when people ask them to do things. They don't want to be the one to disappoint someone else, but what about when you are disappointed? Most people pleasers suck it up and think that they will eventually be able to make everyone happy.

It is one thing to want to make sure your family, friends, and clients are happy, but it is definitely another thing when you allow people to walk all over you. I had a client who I had done everything I could to make her happy. I had forgiven her several times when she flaked on me, I tried to be accommodating to her schedule, and I finally got fed up.

One of my professors told me that it is OK to fire your clients if they are not contributing to your business. I am one of those types of people who does not like confrontations and I try to stay below the radar. I was really afraid to fire her. I felt bad that I might hurt her feelings. After two months I finally got up the nerve to fire her. Guess what? I didn't feel bad afterwards. Instead I felt relief.

I still will do little things here and there to make someone feel better, but I have learned my boundaries and where I will draw the line on pleasing people. What are your boundaries?

How to stay young!

I received this in an email and totally believe it's true.

1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches.)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And i f you have a f riend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

Lost time can never be found!

Do you forgive those that have wronged you?

Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.
— Harriet Nelson

I have had many times during my life where someone has wronged me. Some of these wrongs were small and others were bigger. I could spend the rest of my life holding on to my anger towards the person, but what good will that do me? Many people get physically sick over the bad feelings that they harbor towards others. And there are still others who take their bad feelings too far and end up in trouble.

When you are able to forgive someone, it lifts that weight off your shoulders. No one is asking you to forget what happened, but your heart only has so much room in it. If it is filled with bad feelings, then there is no room for the good feelings. If someone has committed a wrong against you that they can never be fully punished for, your being angry will not bring any more justice to you.

There will always be people in this world, family, friends, strangers, clients, and so on, who commit wrongs against people who have no remorse for what they did. You will find others who really are sorry for the actions they took and they try to make amends for those wrongs. Is it really your place to put judgment on them?

If you want a heart that is full of love and happiness, then you need to forgive.

What's your definition of success?

There is a gigantic difference between earning a great deal of money and being rich.
— Marlene Dietrich

When I was growing up my family was far from being rich. I remember eating mustard sandwiches when I was younger. However, we were rich in other things. My mom, two sisters, and I would stand up in the living room and sing songs from the South Pacific soundtrack and put on our own show. I set up my own library for everyone to check out my books, we had a grocery store in the kitchen, and my sister had a little tent that was our Post Office. We had fun playing and thought we were so cool. I was rich with love and family.

When I first started my business, and even to this day, I am asked, "How successful are you?" Yes, my business makes enough money that I can splurge on all kinds of fun stuff, but that is not being successful to me. I love the fact that I get to stay home with my kids and I get to travel on getaways with my family and that I am able to share my knowledge with others.

I get to enjoy my family and friends I have and the new acquaintances I make every month. I am receiving my college diploma in May at my graduation ceremony. One I didn't need, but that I take great pride in earning because of all of the wonderful knowledge I was taking in that I could share with others. I can control whether I get to sleep in all day or whether I am creating a new product for others.

I am rich and successful and it does not have anything to do with my bank account.