What do you live for?

What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
— George Eliot

I have to admit that as the owner of an errand and concierge service that my main duty is to make someone's life less difficult. But what about outside of the job? What do you do for others?

For me, I try to say "Please" and "Thank you" as often as possible. If you have your blinker on and I see you struggling to get over, I let you in. If I am in a restroom and I notice that the lady behind me looks like she is about to wet herself, I let her go in front. If I am in public and notice that you are elderly, disabled, or it looks like you are having difficulty manuvering the door, I hold it open for you. All of these acts help to make someone else's life less difficult.

What about in your business? Do you do things to make life less difficult for your customers? Little things and big things all count. It could be taking credit cards as payment. It could be staying open a little longer for that client who really needs your last minute help. It could be that thank you card you leave for your client after you have finished a house or pet sitting assignment. It could be calling to check in on a client who isn't feeling well.

For my husband and children I make sure that they get up in the morning for their activities, I hand over my money so that they can do the things that they like to do, I make sure that they have clothes on their back and food to fill their bellies. Ok, I have also been known to help with homework a time or two. I accomodate their schedules even when it interfers with mine. I do this to make their lives as easy as possible.

Life in general is difficult. Instead of adding to life's difficulties, why not take action to subtract one of those difficulties when you can. This includes your life as well.

Can you move forward?

I watch the TV show Men in Trees. I have to admit that I love when Marin Frist asks questions on her radio show that pertain to what is going on in the show and her advice at the end of each show.

Her latest piece of advice was "Sometimes in order to move forward you have to stop looking back. It is always tempting to stick with what is safe, what is comfortable... You might never feel ready to ... move on, but you have to because that is how we grow and growing is what it is all about."

I talk with clients on a weekly basis who are still stuck at first base. They tell me that they have all of their forms ready, they have received their business license, they have their marketing materials in place, and all of their other ducks in a row, yet they haven’t started their business yet. They are frozen to their seat and unable to get up and take the first step. I always ask them what is holding them back. Their answer? Fear.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fear means an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation. It implies anxiety and usually loss of courage, such as fear of the unknown. Of course it is scary to get out there and start your own business. I was so scared when I first was starting that I kept dragging my feet about. Finally someone told me “Just get out there or your business will never be a success.” I had my own anxieties. “What if no one wants my services?” “What if everyone says I am charging too much?” “What if I don’t do it right?” So many What If’s and no actual movement on my part.

I decided to finally take the plunge. Every time I would go out to talk to someone about my business my hands would get clammy and I would start to breathe a little harder, but as I kept talking to people and got my speech down, things got easier. I was able to talk to people with a genuine smile without that feeling of anxiety. I got my first client and then the anxiety started back up. Once I was able to get through a few errands for him, my anxiety level started to come down a little bit.

I have learned many lessons along the way. Some I have liked and others I didn’t. But that is what built me up to be a stronger person. Sure I have had people reject my services along the way, but I realized that it wasn’t me personally that they were rejecting, but my business at that point in time. Even after all of the years I have been in business, I still have twinges of anxiety when meeting a new corporate client or launching a new product or service, but if I didn’t get a little anxious it would make life boring for me.

It takes a lot of work to make a go of a business, regardless of the industry someone is in. Find support that will help you move forward. It could be books, seminars, classes at the local college, a friend’s shoulder to cry on, a mentor program, or a group of business owners that you can set up to cheer you on.

As humans we grow physically from infants to adults. As business owners we need to grow mentally and expand outside of the safe, comfortable box we have created for ourselves. This is the only way we can succeed.

A little vino for the harried mom?

This morning I was watching The Today Show and they had a segment about mothers who break out the wine while their kids are over for a play date. Who in their right minds mixes wine and sandboxes? During the segment I was appalled to see wine glasses sitting on different playground equipment in the background and a bottle of wine chilling on the patio table while a little girl was sitting there drawing.

The woman they were interviewing even had the nerve to say something along the lines of, "Well for those that can go 15, 16, 17 hours with their kids and be sober, I want to see if they are a good mother." Basically she was telling America that you need to drink to be a good parent. I personally think that I am a good mother and I honestly don't need a drink to make it through the perils of motherhood like she does.

I understand about the whole socializing part, which trust me I needed to talk about more than Sesame Street and Bob the Builder at times, but why does alcohol have to be involved? Are you trying to tell me that you can't hold a conversation unless you are sloshing down some wine? In social settings, such as dinner or a party with other adults, I can understand if people drink, but why do you need to relax with wine when you are supposed to be making sure that Bobby doesn't fall off the slide or Susie isn't eating dog poop she found in the yard?

If you really are stressing out from having to raise your kids, why not have a Parents Social Hour where everyone meets somewhere and there are hired babysitters to keep an eye on the kids while you unwind with some cheese and wine?

I was reading the message boards regarding the show and someone had the audacity to say that it was ok to drink wine around your kids because wine tastes good, it helps you to relax, it is sophisticated, and it helps you teach your children about social drinking. I don't know about you, but why would you want to teach a toddler how to socially drink anyways? And who is trying to be sophisticated when they have baby drool sliding down their shirt?

Having a drink to unwind is fine, but be sensible when and where you are doing it.

I hate time zones!

I feel that that they should create a Time Zones for Dummies book, including a pull out map of the world that already has the time zones in place. Apparently some people just pick up their phone and start dialing without even thinking about what time zone the other person is in. If you are calling your mother down the road, no problem, but if you are calling another person for business reasons and they are not located in your state, then you should think it through.

For example, this morning I received a business call at 6 am. Not only did I feel my heart beat faster the first time they called and woke me up out of a sound sleep, but within a fifteen minute time period they called three more times and left two messages. To be quite honest, I am sleeping at 6 am. I don't know about you, but I can get cranky if I have to wake up before my alarm clock, especially when the person is a continuous caller and I then cannot get back to sleep.

Ok, you call me at 5 am one time, I chalk it up to forgetting about the time zone. If you continue to call me every minute and I haven't answered your call it means one of three things. One, I am on the other line with someone. If you leave a message I swear I will return your call. Two, I am sleeping. Three, you have called me more than once before 8 am Pacific Standard Time and have made me mad. Do number three and I promise you that you will be the last call of the day. If I look at my clock and realize that it is past 6 pm your time, being the nice person that I am, I will not return your call until the next morning.

I have to put together monthly chats that include international members. I take the time to look online at the different world time zones so that I can include as many people as possible without them having to be up at some gosh awful hour in the middle of the night.

Since I do not have the power to adjust the time zones so that they are all the same, all I ask of you is that you pay attention to the number you are calling and where they are located the next time you get up bright and early to take care of phone calls first thing in the morning.

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.

This quote is from Auguste Rodin. I have to admit that this is very true. I make mistakes every day of my life. Some big, some small. What I try to do is take something from that experience and apply it to my life, my work, and my family.

Although I have three children, who range in age from 9 to 14, I still learn new things about how to take care of them. What may have worked for my oldest does not necessarily work for my youngest. Some boo boo's I made with my middle one have not been passed on to my youngest. I also have fun learning from my children and my husband. Although this baby making machine has hit the "stop" switch, I can take these lessons to heart and use them with my grandchildren, far, far in the future.

Would you believe I have also made mistakes with my business? I know, you're probably thinking "Really, I would never expect that of her", but yes I have to admit it. I have learned and continue to learn and apply these changes. I used to not charge for shipping, waaaaay back in the day, when I first started selling my products. Then I realized that I was taking money out of my own pocket. That practice stopped after about one year.

When I first started my errand service I used to offer free advice to anyone that wanted it. I didn't mind doing so, but the time it took to do so was not helping me grow my business. I had an Aha! moment. Why not create a book and other products and sell them. At least I would be compensated for my time instead of working for nothing.

My husband has definitely not taken this quote to heart when it comes to cars, although he is getting better. We have gone through more cars than the amount of years we have been married, and let me tell you it seems a lot longer than the 15 years we have been married. We nag and bother each other, but what we do for 23 hours out of the day if we didn't.

My youngest son has learned that you do not place metal or paper into the microwave when he tried to set it on fire two times recently. My husband had to run into the kitchen to save the kitchen. After making him clean the mess and telling him that he would have to live in the garage if he burned down our home, he has taken our advice to heart. Plus, it doesn't hurt that I have pictures taped to the cupboard above the microwave showing him the things not to place in there with a huge red X over them.

Oh, I have also learned that when you are backing up in your husband's truck and hit a branch and it puts a dent in the back of the truck, to blame it on him and continue to do so years after the fact. Tell him that it must have been one of those times he was in a hurry to back up and wasn't paying attention and he didn't realize what happened until after he looked at his truck several days later. I am not saying that I did this exactly, but that this is an experience that can be learned from.

Take your experiences in life and learn from them so that they do not become a waste of time.

Open the door for someone and your heart

Have you ever been out somewhere and seen someone struggling with packages, a wheelchair, their small children, or even a door and watched as people passed them by left and right without a passing glance? I have every day.

I happened to be at the Post Office yesterday and I was pulling into a parking spot I noticed that a woman in a van who had pulled into the spot next to me had parked and gotten out of her car to help a woman two spots over who was struggling with several packages that she could hardly carry to into the Post Office.

A couple of days after Christmas I happened to be in Michael's Craft Store. As I was at the register I could see a woman a couple of spots behind me in line struggling with her items she was going to purchase. She hadn't gotten a cart because she thought she was only going to grab a thing or two. I had prepared and grabbed a cart. The lady in front of her and behind her kept picking up little boxes she kept dropping. I emptied my basket before I reached the cash register, since I could pile everything into my two hands and offered her my cart. Even though no one was obligated to help her out, we all felt it was the right thing to do.

I went to dinner last night with my husband and youngest son and the little boys in front of me opened up the door so I could pass through. Each of the boys held a different door open. They didn’t have to, but they were trained well. I told each of them thank you.

Recently there was the news story about the gentleman who jumped on the tracks of the subway to save a man who was having a seizure. He didn't spend long thinking about doing it. He just did it. Although he is getting a hero's welcome everywhere, I am sure that was far from his mind when he gave of himself to someone else.

Not everyone will appreciate your gesture, as some act as if you are obligated to do so for them because they hold the special title of “I am the almighty something or other.” I would love to tell you what that something or other is, but I think you get the gist of what it would be.

The unappreciative are the ones that even if they don’t say a word or acknowledge your actions, you will know deep inside that you helped. All it takes it just a moment of your time to do something simple for someone and those that are truly thankful for what you did will not only appreciate it, but your heart will as well.

New Year's Goals

Resolutions, goals, whatever you want to call them, they still boil down to the same thing year after year. Empty promises made with the excitement of another new year and another new beginning. "I'm going to..." and "This year I plan to..." get you pumped up with anticipation of finally accomplishing what you really want to get done this year, whether it is losing weight, making more money, vacationing somewhere, or cleaning your house. Then comes the disappointment and frustration during the year when another failure is swept under the rug.

Each year you get one year closer to death and lose another year of could have's and should have's. Take a stand this year and get it done. Words are just words. As they say, "Actions speak louder than words." Don't list twenty million things you want to accomplish during the year. List one thing. One thing only? Yes, because if you could have accomplished it last year it still wouldn't be on your list.

If businesses want to succeed they need to create a business plan. You need to create your own personal plan and write it down. The objective will be that goal. List all of the steps that you will need to do to accomplish it. When you start to write out the details of something, it makes you take a good hard look at what will or won't work.

Make a collage and post it in a place where you will see it everyday to remind you of what you want to do. This is good especially if you want a new car, new home, a special place you want to travel to, a new office instead of a spare room in your home, and so on.

Go and accomplish your goal for 2007!