How far are you willing to run?

There is not telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream. — Anonymous

We all dream about things we want, places we want to go, things we want to experience, people we want to meet. For me, my business became my dream. When I first decided to open my doors for business, it was to earn some extra spending money and feel like I was contributing, since I was a stay at home mom.

My husband basically laughed at me and told me that it wasn't going to work. Many times when I first opened my doors for business, he told me to go get a real job. While it got me down, I wanted to prove him wrong. I was going to show him that I could be a success no matter what it took. I put in plenty of long hours surfing the web for information, putting my paperwork together, pounding the pavement, and the list of things I did was endless.

Having three kids and trying to run a household and business kept me tired many nights of the week, but I was bound and determined. I got my first client, who only needed me for a couple of hours, but it was still my first client. Then I had another client come on and then another. Over the years my business has taken off and I am able to enjoy many things, including my dream of a successful business. My husband doesn't laugh at me anymore or tell me my business is stupid or that it sucks. I get to be there for my children, while many other moms are out there working.

The miles I have run chasing my dream have been long and exhausting, but well worth it to finally catch my dream and hold it in my hands.

Are you right or wrong?

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I have seen it before in the work environment. People are in such a rush to produce more work and get their their list of things to do done, that they make mistakes and have to sit there and explain what happened and re-do their work. Of course we are not perfect and mistakes will be made, but if you take the time to go over your work carefully and follow the procedures set up, you will have more time to get things done and not spend the majority of it fixing your errors.

In life I have seen the explanations flow from my husband's mouth as well as my children's mouths. They are in such a hurry to get something done so that they have more time to do something else, that they have to go back and do it all over again after explaining to me why it was done wrong in the first place. I always tell them, "If you would just slow down and take the time to do it right, you would end up with more time in the end."

My mom's friend owns rental property. In the past she has hired the cheapest person to do the fastest job and in the end has had to go back and spend more money to get the job done right instead of just doing it right in the first place. Not only did she lose more money, but she lost more time. I always would tell my mom, "You get what you pay for." If she would have just put out the money in the first place, it would have been done the first time around. Doing it her way ended up costing her more in the end.

The next time you feel yourself rushing through something, take a moment to ask yourself if you are doing it right or will you have to do some explaining later.

Do you force time or yield to it?

Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side.
— The Talmud

In the Little House on the Prairie days, families would do all of their chores without the help of technology and yet they were able to have gatherings, visit with family and friends, and enjoy life. Later on, fathers worked all day outside of the home and mothers worked all day inside the home and yet they were able to have gatherings, visit with family and friends, and enjoy life. Nowadays, we have so much technology that it is overwhelming and yet we don't have time to get together or visit with family and friends or enjoy life.

When we try to force more than 24 hours in a day, we are pushed into a corner with all of our obligations hovering around us. When we use our 24 hours a day wisely, by saying "No" and outsourcing or delegating and using technology for good, and understand that those are the boundaries, we will find more time. Even buying time, by using errand and concierge services, can help you yield to time's boundaries.

We all want to sit down and relax, but never seem to find that time. We push ourselves and push ourselves. I love the Rascal Flatts song "Mayberry" because the lyrics below are so true.

Sometimes it feels like this world is spinning faster
Than it did in the old days
So naturally, we have more natural disasters
From the strain of a fast pace
Sunday was a day of rest
Now, it’s one more day for progress
And we can’t slow down
‘cause more is best
It’s all an endless process

If you are looking for time, it may be best to yield to it and not force it.

What do you overlook?

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. — William James

When we wake up every morning, it is a new day of people we see, places we go, and things we do. Sometimes we are okay with it and sometimes we are not. It is up to us to decide what to look at and what to overlook.

My husband and I have had this discussion over and over when it comes to our teenage son. I have told him that sometimes he needs to overlook things our son does and pick his battles wisely. His dad was very strict and overbearing with him and he tends to have those same issues. I didn't have the same strictness when I was growing up. My mom is still a pushover to this day.

I did not have brothers growing up so I am learning firsthand what it is like to have a house full of boys. Some things I overlook and chalk up to boys being boys. There are other situations that I will step up and deal with because I have to in order to raise my son right. I can't stand my son having his pants hang down past his butt and neither can my husband. I choose to overlook it as a trend he is going through, as he has gone through many during his 15 years of life. I do get on him about it when we are in public, but I do it in a kind way. My husband chooses to be irritable about it and is always yelling at my son about picking up his pants.

My daughter and I were at the grocery store the other evening. As we were heading down the soda aisle, I noticed a woman in a store wheelchair/shopping cart struggling to put some boxes of soda in her cart. I tapped my daughter on the arm and asked her to help the lady out. We ended up putting several boxes in her cart and she was grateful. My husband on the other hand, although he probably would have helped, would have overlooked it because he is not as observant as me when it comes to little things like that.

Some people tend to go through life looking out for themselves and do not notice what is going on around them. I see it everyday when I am driving and people cut other drivers off or turn in front of others suddenly or grab a spot in the parking lot without looking to see if anyone else was there. I see it when I am out in the stores and people don't watch where they are going or just grab things off of the shelf or cut in line. They aren't paying attention to the world around them.

I tend to overlook most of these things as I don't want to have health problems at the expense of these other people's rudeness. Why stress out over something so insignificant? What you need to not overlook are the things that can harm you or your family. It takes a really wise person to decide which situations are the ones worth overlooking. Maybe that is why I have so much gray hair!

Do you set things straight?

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. — Phyllis Diller

How many times have you been in a foul mood and someone smiled at you and everything got better? I know that it has happened to me many times. I could be upset one moment and then feel much better the next, all because of a smile.

In October my daughter and I headed over to Disneyland. On the way there we had stopped at McDonald's for her to get something to eat. I was sitting in the drive thru lane and one of the employees walked by. He said, "Come on, smile. You're at the yummiest place on earth." My daughter and I started laughing and smiling. He was in a good mood and that transferred over to us.

I was at the grocery store the other day and noticed that every employee who passed by me smiled and asked if they could help me with anything. I must of had about six people pass by me and do this. I brought my oldest son with me and he was acting hyper. I sent him on a scavenger hunt to find items to keep him out of my hair. One of the clerks kept overhearing me tell him different items to find. He started getting in on the scavenger hunt. I think I was keeping both of them busy as it was late in the evening and there were not that many customers at the store.

Then I ran out of room in my cart and needed another cart. My son decided he didn't want to push his cart anymore so he sat on the end of my cart and had me pushing my cart with him on it and his cart around. We got to the meat section and there were different signs in the middle of the floor so we started doing figure eights around the sign. We were smiling and laughing and having fun. We took a boring task and made it fun.

We all know that it takes more muscles to make a frown than it does to make a smile. Use those muscles to make someone's day, as it may be the only smile they see all day, and you will feel the effects even more.

Is the moment right for you?

Generosity lies less in giving much than in giving at the right moment.
— Jean de La Bruyere

With Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner, many people dig into their pockets and give. With the fires in California, people have dug into their pockets to give to help those who lost their homes and possessions rebuild. There are still others who have given of their time and efforts to help in other ways. We can all think back to Hurricane Katrina and the tsunamis a few years ago. I still remember the Whittier earthquake back in 1987.

We have always had world events come up, whether they are natural disasters or not, and people give of themselves. It is not about the amount we give, but about giving at that moment. It doesn't have to even be when something is spotlighted in the news. To the person on the receiving end, it is just the fact that you made the effort to be generous to them that counts.

I will always remember the parable told to me about the people who had wealth that gave of their extra overflow in money and the widow who gave her last two coins. She didn't have much to give, but she gave at the right moment. No one would have noticed her and what she gave because to them the amount wasn't significant, but to one person it was.

I looked up some new versions of this parable on the web and Will Shetterly compared it this way: A woman gave a great fortune to charity. Everyone applauded. Then she went home to her mansion and her servants brought her a wonderful meal. Another woman gave five dollars to charity. No one noticed. Then she went home to her little apartment and made a meal of canned soup and crackers.

What you give does not necessarily have to be of monetary value. It is what you give of yourself that makes the moment right.

Are your shirt sleeves rolled up?

The person who is waiting for something to turn up might start with their shirt sleeves.
— Garth Henrichs

I have been frustrated lately with the amount of people I have come across who want everything done for them. It doesn't matter what it is. Many people want to put as little effort into getting things done as possible, but have high expectations on what their return should be.

My oldest son, who is a high school sophomore, decided this first semester to not put in as much effort into his homework and tests as he should have. His school progress report came in and it sucked. I don’t want to reward him for his efforts, or lack thereof. He has three months of not going anywhere to roll his shirt sleeves up and get in and do the work I know he can to raise his grades. He has already started with making the effort to get a weekly progress report from his teacher and he actually started on his community service hours that he needs to complete to graduate from high school.

He had the football coach come up to him at lunch, after he had seen my son play some football at lunch, and ask why he wasn’t on the football team this year. My son had stated to him that because we had just moved here a couple of months ago and he hadn’t trained with the team he was told he couldn’t be on it. The teacher wants him on the team next year badly. I told him that no matter how talented the coach thinks he is, that he won’t be able to play if he does not maintain a certain GPA. I hope that this is the motivation he needs to get going, but the work is up to him. He can’t skate by in life.

When we moved into our house in August, the grass was dead. The tenants before us had not watered the grass for several months. My husband wanted the grass to grow back again. After a lot of elbow grease each week raking out the dead grass after each watering and pulling out of weeds and getting a gardener to come in once the grass started to grow back in, the results are nice. We have a bright green front lawn. Because he had rolled up his shirt sleeves and made the effort, the results have paid off. He could have become frustrated because of the waiting process, but he knew that his work would eventually pay off.

Sometimes the effort we put into a project seems like it is too much for us or like it would just be easier to get someone else to do it all for you, but if we just persevere and accomplish our goal, the reward tastes so much sweeter.

Where's your favorite veggie hiding?

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.
— Jim Davis

I love vegetables, even if they are not part of a cake, bread, or pie. I am lucky enough to have kids who like vegetables, and I don't even have to find creative ways to cover them up or hide them in their meals. I do have to admit though that I enjoy a good cake, bread, and pie. I was never one of those who was watching my carb intake during the big "Cut Out The Carbs" craze. I love my carbs too much to give them up.

If everyone could incorporate their favorite vegetable into their favorite dessert, I am sure this world would be a much better place. We would all get our suggested amount of daily servings and and enjoy them while we are eating them. There would be peace and harmony....Well, maybe not. I was just imaging people running around trying to get some pumpkin pie saying, "This is a veggie jacking. Just hand over the pie and no one gets hurt."

As they say, "It's the thought that counts." I'm off to enjoy some delicious cornbread and no one better lay a hand on it.

I'm laughing. Are you?

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. — Author Unknown

Have you ever set back and had a good laugh for no good reason other than something was just really funny? My youngest son makes me laugh everyday. He doesn't always do it intentionally, but the things that come out of his mouth can set me off. They say it takes more muscles to frown that it does to smile. They also say that those that laugh live longer than those who don't.

Now I don't go out of my way to be funny, but I try when I can. Other times, I am just speaking my mind, but it comes across as hilarious. When I was at the ICEA conference recently, two people came to mind immediately who made me laugh a lot. Indra Books and Jackie Farley. Their wit and sense of humor will take them far. I enjoy and try to surround myself with people who make me laugh.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that everyone I hang around with has a great sense of humor, but you have to admit that when you are around friends, colleagues, family, or whomever, you do have a better time when you are laughing. Whether it is a joke being told, a funny story being shared, or just your observations of life, why not enjoy yourself?

If I was stuck on an island today, I would want to find a sense of humor in my survival kit. Have you packed yours yet?

What were you today?

You become what you think about all day long. – Earl Nightingale

This is so true. If you have a bad attitude, then you notice that bad things come to you. When you think positively, you have good things come to you. I have had days where one thing has gone wrong, I dwelled on it, and it seemed that anything else that could go wrong did. On the other hand, I have had other times where something has not gone how I liked, but I didn’t think about the negative part of it. I put on my positive attitude and everything else seemed to go OK.

People can hear it in your voice and see it in your body language. If I am having a rough day, I stop and take a deep breath before answering my phone so that no one can hear it in my voice. I also think about the other person if I am out in public or on the phone. I shouldn’t take out my feelings on innocent parties and I try my darndest not to let them become a part of my bad day.
Sure we all get frustrated from time to time, but you just can’t dwell on it. Many people have been known to get ulcers or have other health issues because they allow themselves to be so overcome with their feelings of anger or frustration that their body can’t handle it.

They say “You are what you eat” and that can be a scary thought sometimes, considering some of the things I take in during the day. Why would I want to become what I have thought about all day long?

Have you been counting the years?

It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
— Abraham Lincoln

When I was attending the ICEA Conference a couple of weeks ago, someone said in their session, "We shouldn't live to work, we should work to live." In the end, you can't take your house or your car or your other worldly possessions with you. All you can take with you are your memories. Why would you want to look back on your life and think about all of the hours you put in at work to just pay for a house that you never had time to enjoy or think about all of the "What if's" that you never got to fulfill because you had your nose to the grindstone?

Sure a person can live to be 100, but what good is it if you never enjoyed those 100 years? I would rather live to be 40 and have enjoyed my life than live to be 80 with nothing to look back on. I enjoy the Tim McGraw song "Live like you were dying". The words in it are so true. For most of us, if you were to ask the question "What would you do if you only had a week to live?" the list of things would be long. People would talk about the trips they would take, the food they would try, the things they would buy, the people they would see, and so on.

Why would it take someone knowing they only had a short amount of time to live for them to put aside the everyday things and finally live like they want to? Another great song I like is Garth Brooks' "If tomorrow never comes". He says in the song "So I made a promise to myself to say each day how much she means to me and avoid that circumstance where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feel." How many people do you know are given second chances? I bet that list is very, very short.

You still have time to live like you were dying. What are you waiting for?

Are you in love yet?

A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak.
— Michael Garrett Marino

I love to read. I don't care if it is a newspaper, cereal box, or book. I thirst for knowledge and enjoy playing Jeopardy every evening. One thing I am trying to get across to my children is that knowledge doesn't hurt you, but helps you out. My youngest son, who loves to watch The Discovery Channel as well as many other channels, gives off all kinds of facts and trivia about all kinds of subjects. (Even though he has been complaining lately that he wants to become an elementary school dropout.) I always brag to everyone because of his knowledge and love for new things he has learned. On the other hand, my oldest son hates to read with a passion. I have tried to get him to read Agatha Christie novels, with some success, but he does not want to sit around taking in knowledge. He wants to be hands on with his learning.

I started thinking about the people who have and who have not attended my ECSU™ seminars and although I know some of the main reasons why they don't attend, such as money and traveling, those that have attended are so appreciative of the knowledge that they have taken in while at my seminars. I love learning and I also love to share and am surprised that so many more people do not want to invest in themselves, whether it is a book, joining a chat, coming to a seminar, or watching informative television shows.

Knowledge is all around us and I'll be the first one to admit that I am having a love affair with it. When are you going to start your affair?

Who's cutting into your leisure time?

The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours.
— Arthur Lacey

I was in a session at the ICEA conference where the topic was work/life balance. I realized as I was there that I give away too much of my leisure time for others. Some knowingly take it and others just happen to cut into it. I wrote down ideas of things I want to implement so I can get back more of my leisure time. The amount of "me" time left after all of the obligations is very little. Why would you want to give it up?

Many people today are overworked or put too much pressure on themselves to get everything done, which leads to very little leisure time. It seems that everyone gets a piece of the pie called "Leisure Time" except for the person who owns that pie. Take that pie and decide what slices you want to keep and which slices you want to give away to others. I know some weeks I look at my pie and all that's left is crumbs and other times I get to taste some of the whipped cream and filling.

Take a few moments of your time to jot down what you want from your leisure time and ways that you can cut others from dipping into it. I know I have a few new systems that I plan on implementing in the next few weeks to get back more of my leisure time. After all, don't you want your pie and to eat it too?

What do you believe?

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble.
— Rudyard Kipling

I have to admit that I can be very naive at times. When first meeting someone, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt until I get to know them and can make a judgement call then. People in general are good, but sometimes the choices we make lead us down the wrong path. OK, there are some real psychos out there who do not have a good bone in their body, but I don't try and mingle with them. First impressions are usually right, but sometimes circumstances cause the first impression you receive from someone to not always be the right impression.

I have met many people over the years and I am pretty good at picking out who has a good heart and who does not always have good intentions. I recently got to spend time with someone whose first impression I had of them was totally different than how they came across this time. I am so glad that I took the time to get to know them better as I really enjoyed my time with them and I definitely appreciate who they are as a person now.

I remember in school getting to know all sorts of groups and cliques. I wanted to know what the person was really like, not what their public persona was. If I like a person, I will hang out with them, and if I don't like a person, I will have as little contact with them as possible. I made lots of great friends who may not have always fit in, but they were the best friends to have. You got to see the real them.

Don't be so quick to judge someone because you may be letting someone good get away.

What do you regret?

As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do. — Zachary Scott

As we go through the road of life there are always bound to be detours due to circumstances that may or may not be out of our control. If we never re-visit those areas, there are bound to be regrets of views we never saw or places we didn't stop at. Sometimes it is fear that keeps us from returning.

I had gone to college right out of high school, didn't like what I was studying, and then ended up getting married and having children and not returning. I had always had in the back of my heart that regret of not being able to be like many of my friends and get a college degree. Guess what? I graduated from college recently with a degree in Entrepreneurship. It took a lot of hard work and time, but I was able to go back and accomplish something I thought had been a closed road for a long time.

I love to cross stitch, but after having kids, things just got hectic and I never found the time to go back to it. I have now found time again to go back to it because a friend just recently had a baby and I wanted to give them a gift that came straight from my heart and hands. Cross stitching also allows me to relax when I am stressed out as I have to concentrate on what I am doing and the repetitive motion lets me calm down.

I don't want to be one of those persons sitting in their rocking chair when they get older reminiscing about all of the things I would have loved to have done. Instead, I want to be the one reflecting back on all of the things I did get to do during my life. With the kids getting older, I still have a life to live. I want to be able to go to Hawaii and take a cruise around the world. I want to see my kids graduate from college and start their own families.

I am going to do what I can to make sure that I don't have too many regrets in life. What about you?

How much personal space do you have?

I was at Target the other day and I was at a counter that was set up as a register. There wasn't much room. As I was conducting my transaction and getting ready to pay, I noticed that the people behind me were basically breathing down my neck. I leaned over to cover the machine where you slide your card and pay, as a hint to them to back up, and they kept right on talking. Then I leaned over again to punch in a few numbers. They were still up in my space. I said something to my daughter, who has no shame in embarrassing people in public or calling it like it is, and she started saying how people needed to back up and give space. They never did so we walked out of the store bashing them.

Have you ever been in a public place where people invade your personal space? I know that what is acceptable in one country may not be acceptable in another, but come on. Learn the rules. There is no need for you to be practically on my back while it is my turn at the cash register. I would never get up in anyone's space. My sister is very defensive when people invade her space. She likes to give the evil eye. I'll admit that I walked backwards into someone before and never said sorry. When they started to say something, I told them, "If you weren't all up in my business then we wouldn't have this problem, now would we?" She backed up real quick.

I know I may sound harsh, but I get testy when people are hovering on you like flies on you know what. I know that people are building houses on top of each other because there is not much space left, but we are not at a point where we need to be standing on someone else's shoulders for more space. If you see someone is in the middle of a business transaction or looking at a jar of food in the aisle, you don't need to be their right hand man.

Right now everyone is sleeping, so I have all the space I need to write this post. Oh wait, I have to go elbow the dog, she is in my personal space.

What are your limits?

Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them — Brendan Francis

OK, I admit that I can't fix a car. Never took auto shop in school and did not care to. So what do I do if my car breaks? I take it to a auto repair person. I accept the fact that I am limited in my knowledge and I moved on.

Many people don't know or accept what their limits are and then they can't move beyond them. When it comes to you, your personal life, your business, your hobbies, your family, or anything else in life, you need to learn what your limits are, accept them for what they are, and move yourself beyond them.

I have been on a treadmill before and was told by a trainer what my limits where supposed to be. I accepted the limits he gave me, but was not happy with them. I was at the gym several times a week and pushing myself each time so that I could go beyond those limits. I was so proud of myself when I got off the treadmill that I was walking around like a peacock strutting my stuff.

That is the kind of attitude you need in life. There are some things that you will never get past your limits, but there are many other things where you can move beyond those limits placed on you. I figured I was pretty much washed up in the college arena. I was older, had a lot more on my plate, and wasn't sure that I would get good enough grades. I would have be OK, not happy but OK, with getting C's in my classes. Once I knew those limits and accepted them, I realized that I had to push beyond those limits. I wanted straight A's. That was my goal. I didn't meet my goal, I got mostly A's with a handful of B's thrown into the mix, but I was happy with that. I pushed myself, even though I was doggone tired many nights, and I was able to move past those limits.

Have you figured out your limits yet? If you know what they are, figure out the steps you need to take to move past them.

Is that bacon I smell?

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. — Doug Larson

My children eat LOTS of vegetables. My husband will order a salad in a restaurant before he would ever order dessert. My mother raised me to eat vegetables, including one green one that HAD to be included on my plate. I have to admit that I like to eat bacon too, but you will find me near the veggies at a party.

Imagine my surprise and horror when my high school age son told me that he knows people who don't even know what a vegetable is or what one looks like. I asked my other kids if they knew people like that and they said "Yes". I can't believe that a parent would not introduce veggies to their child. Not only are they good for you, but they are yummy. Well, except for Brussel sprouts. I have never eaten them and don't think I would ever try. They look gross.

I watched the Shaq TV series about him helping a group of kids lose weight. I was floored by what goes on in our schools when it comes to their lunches and lack of exercise. Poor Tyler Florence was doing his best to get the kids in the school to eat broccoli and they just kept throwing it away.

I think someone should invent a bacon smelling spray. The lunch ladies and parents can then spray veggies to smell like bacon and then kids, and parents alike, would eat more veggies and we wouldn't have a generation that is going to die faster and earlier than the generation before it.

Hmmm....I think it's salad night tonight in my house. I am going to have bacon bits as a topping choice. Eat up!

FRIENDS

With our hectic lives, we sometimes take our friends for granted. They are that shoulder to lean on in bad times and they are someone who makes you laugh during the good times. Friends mean a lot of things, but I think they can best be summed up below.

F - forgiving, fun, faithful, flexible, friendly, funny
R - reliable, relaxed, real, respectful, rational, responsible, reasonable
I - interesting, inquisitive, impulsive, imaginative, impartial, integrity
E - everlasting, energetic, enthusiastic, encouraging, exceptional, easygoing, extraordinary
N - nurturing, nice, nutty, neat
D - dedicated, dependable, devoted, discreet, dynamic, diligent, determination
S - supportive, special, sympathetic, sincere, sharing, spontaneous, silly

Take a moment to think about your friends and which of the adjectives above fit each of them, or think of your own adjectives. Since it is Friendship Month, take a few moments to write them a heartfelt letter telling them why you enjoy their friendship. I'm getting out my pen and paper right now.

What is your perfect summer day?

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. — James Dent

Where we recently moved to, there is a huge lake. This weekend, as I was pulling into my driveway, I could see down the hill to the lake where all of the boats were out on the water. It made me want to run to the lake and jump in. Although I didn't, I spent my weekend just relaxing. OK, I admit that I didn't want to sit out in 106 degree weather, but I was just chilling out and enjoying the last days of summer. I am going camping on Labor Day weekend, which should be tons of fun, but that will be my last big hurrah for the summer.

I remember as a little kid that when my mom started to take me back to school shopping that my summer days were numbered. Fall was around the corner and once again I would be hitting the books and having pages of homework. My lazy days of wading in the pool, sleeping in, and reading my favorite Nancy Drew book all day while dangling my legs over the side of the bed were abruptly coming to a close until the following summer. Although it was only less than a year away, it felt like summer would never come again.

We all get wrapped up in our lives and sometimes we don't make enough effort to just enjoy what life has to offer. Before you know it, the kids are grown, decades have gone by, and you wonder what happened to all of the free time you thought you would have for yourself. If the weather is not too unbearable, make a glass of iced tea or lemonade and sit out under the shade to take in the things around you.

Even if your lawn mower really does work, let it be broken for the day.

Are you open minded or close minded?

Minds, like parachutes, only work when open.
— Anonymous

Sure we may be set in our ways of doing things, especially the older we get, but sometimes it is good to open your mind to new things. How can you experience life to the fullest if you remain inside your box?

For example, I took a cooking class in college. On our first night there we were asked to try a bite of each sample she put out to see if we could guess what it was. Some of the food did not look like I would like it, but I was open to the idea of trying new things. This girl who sat at my table had to make a negative remark with each sample she tried. I knew she wasn't going to come back to class because she wasn't ready to open her mind to new food experiences. Guess what? She never came back after that class. I, on the other hand, was able to try new foods that we cooked in class and found some things that I now like to eat. If I had been close minded to the experience I would have lost out on new knowledge I learned during the course as well as some new foods that I have added to my pantry.

As someone who has been in the errand and concierge industry for close to a decade, I don't shut my mind to new ideas because of my length of experience. I actually encourage people to share their ideas and experiences with me. I have found many new ideas, tools, and technology that I have implemented over the years because I opened my mind to new ideas on how things are getting done or how to do things differently. This has continued to help my business grow and expand to new avenues for me.

What is the worst thing that can happen if you open your mind? Nothing. You can try a new idea or food or technology and find out that it doesn't work for you, but at least you can say that you tried. That's all that counts. Close your mind to the negative thoughts that want to get in, but keep it open for all of the new and positive things you should let in.

Pack rat coming through

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
— Steven Wright

I was at a meeting yesterday and was talking with a fellow industry member and learned that she does a lot of organizing. We were discussing some of the clients she has and learned about one client she has who has things everywhere. She mentioned that when it is time to clear the clutter, the client is hesitant to throw things away.

I subscribe to a couple of newsletters related to organizing to help me with my business and to learn new information. I have picked up several tips over the years to help me with decluttering my own home. I just wish I could implement them at my mother's house. She has things she holds onto with the idea that she might need it in the future, whenever that is.

My husband and I were cleaning out our garage and I took a good look at some things we had and decided that if I hadn't been asking for it for a while that we would get rid of it. We ended up dumping a lot of things and I felt no shame or regrets in doing so. I actually felt lighter because I didn't have this heap of things hanging over my shoulder.

I have seen news reports over the years where the police have had a hard time rescuing people from their homes or retrieving them once they were found dead because there was so much stuff in the house that they couldn't get to them so easily. I guess they were creative in the ways they came up with to find space for all of the items that they brought into their homes, but I couldn't live in a home where I couldn't see out the windows or move around so easily because things were everywhere or I couldn't invite people over because there was no room for them.

When you die, you can't take everything with you, so why build up your treasures now to the point of overflowing?

Have you had your nap today?

No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap — Carrie Snow

I have dealt with many bad things that have happened along the way in both my personal and business life. Some of those days you just want to throttle someone or you feel as if any and every thing that can go wrong that day will. How do you deal with it? For me, I don't want to have a mental breakdown or find myself in jail because I took my anger out on the person who deserved it. My next best thing is to take a nap. I have this cool eye mask that I bought myself. When I need a good nap to clear my mind, I turn off the TV, all of the lights, put on my mask, and go to sleep. Once I have tossed and turned for a while, because I am still thinking about what happened that day, I go into my zone and rest comfortably. When my nap is over, I feel refreshed and ready to start anew. It doesn't mean that the incident never occurred earlier in the day or that the problem went away, it just means that I can deal with it better in a right frame of mind.

Naps can not be all that bad. My dog takes them all of the time and my youngest son loves to take them. He even stole my eye mask and I have the pictures to prove it.

Fact or fiction?

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. — Mark Twain

My kids have broken things over the years and then tried to blame it on someone else. I question them and they give me their story. I do a little bit of investigating to see if their story would match the circumstance involved. Sometimes they don’t, so I go back to the kid and ask for their story again. This time it changes a little bit because they can’t quite remember what they told me the first time. Once I ask them questions about things that don't match, they then concoct a different version of what happened. At this point I call them out on the fact that they are lying and after I give them those evil “You better tell me the truth or else” eyes, I get the truth.

Why lie in the first place? You’re going to get caught eventually unless you can remember all of the lies you told. I’ve seen it time and time again. Either in the news where someone murders someone and by the time they go down the story has changed a dozen times or when a guy gets caught cheating because he couldn’t remember what he told all of the girls.

If you run a shady business, your lies will catch up to you and you could lose everything. I just dealt with someone whose lies caught up with her yesterday. My ECSU™ business partners and I had hired a woman to create some marketing materials for us. She had asked for the full amount up front, which I felt funny about doing, but because she was friends with one of my partners and I had seen her work before, we went ahead and paid her all of the money that would have been owed.

First, we had asked for three proofs and never received them. Then she gave us one thing to look at and it was not our vision. We kept going back to her for adjustments and corrections. We had given her a deadline to have the items completed by. That deadline came and went with no products ready. We finally gave up and decided to ask for our money back. We filed a claim and waited to hear word on the outcome of the situation. After almost 30 days, I had heard on Saturday that we had lost because the review team had believed that the items were intangible because the lady had stated that the items were a service.

To say I was flabbergasted was an understatement. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had called my partners to give them the news and had one of them get on the phone with me so that we could ask these people how this could happen. The items were clearly stated in the invoice sent to us as being tangible items. After talking with a supervisor, the situation was finally taken care of in our favor. He had to dig deep to find out that she herself had stated that the items were supposed to be printed in one of her first emails to them.

He had told us that after that email she had tried to get out of it by stating that the items were a service when they asked for a tracking number. She had tried to find some type of loophole or way to work around the system so that the case was found in her favor. In the end her lies caught up to her and she lost, not only the money she had received, which was refunded back to us, but her friendship with my partner and any new business that we would have passed her way if she had done a good job in the first place.

If you are truthful in your actions you don’t have to try and remember what your lies are.

I've had enough!!!!!!!

OK, I can't take it anymore. I understand that our youth have their styles, but I am about to lose it. I swear, if I see one more young man's underwear because he sagged his pants below his butt, I am going to pull his pants down to his ankles. And if I see one more young girl with a muffin top, the ones who try to shove their fat behinds into tiny pants and their fat has nowhere to go but up and over the top of their pants, I am going to drag them into the nearest store to buy them a pair of pants that fit.

Instead of spending your entire day pulling your pants up and your tops down to cover what's in between, you just need to find clothes that fit properly. Obviously they have to keep tugging away because they see people staring at them. You would think the snickering they hear, especially my comments that are made loud enough for them to hear, would deter them, but to no avail.

I have no shame in calling you out on it if you have no shame in wearing those ridiculous clothes. I call my son out on it in public and I do the same with his friends. I have asked my son in a public place if he had to go to the bathroom. When he asked why I replied, "Because it looks like you took a crap in your pants and it is weighing them down to your knees." Needless to say, the pants went up faster than he could walk out of the store.

My sister and I have our own fashion police thing going on between us and I guess now would be as good a time as any to make a website about these fashion blunders we see on a daily basis. Of course we would put the black bars across their eyes to protect the innocent....from having to admit that they know these people.

The only underwear I want to see from now on are mine as I am putting them on and the only muffin tops I want to see should be on the muffin I am eating. Suspenders anyone?

Aahhh...winter, spring, summer, fall

Childhood is the most beautiful of all life's seasons.
— Anonymous

Have you ever just sat in a park and watched the kids at play? Or what about people watching at Disneyland or somewhere similar? I have and I find it fascinating. Watching the looks of wonder and puzzlement when a small child comes across something new or the smile on their face when they are enjoying something they are doing is great to watch.

Whether you don't have kids or you do, and you can get beyond the crying, screaming, and acting out, childhood is beautiful. I remember when I was younger and how I could turn anything into fun. Whether it was taking a piece of paper and turning it into a fancy folded letter to one of my friends or rolling down a hill of grass and laughing the whole way down, it was a time when I could be whatever I wanted and be free of all responsibilities. OK, I still had to make my bed, but it was nothing compared to the responsibilities adults face today.

There are people out there today who try to take childhood and turn it into something ugly and dirty. Don't let them. For those of you who have children, sit where they can't see you and just watch them for a few minutes. It takes you back to your yesteryear and lets you be a part of your childhood again.

I am going to go down and buy a snow cone machine this weekend and make snow cones again with my son. The price of a snow cone may have gone up from when I sold them as a child, but the memories will always be priceless.

Who throws a wrench in your plans?

My husband did earlier this week. I led a chaotic life as it with three children and a husband. Wait...make that four children. When one of them throws me off, it can throw my whole day off. I was out taking my son to school and thought that I would plan my day smartly and take care of a few of my own errands for once.

I wanted to go in a circle and end up back at my home, like I teach others to do when running their own errand or concierge service. I went up the street and stopped at the dry cleaners. Moved through the parking lot and made a mad dash into the grocery store to pick up items to make two separate dinners. I then ran through the Post Office and went on my way home. Proud at how fast I had accomplished my errands.

I got home and called my husband to come out and grab some of the stuff from the car. He gets to the car and tells me, "Oh, I thought you had stopped by McDonald's to get some breakfast." I wanted to throw the bottle of spaghetti sauce at his head, but thought about the mess I would have to clean up afterwards and how it would throw me off schedule even more, and chose not to. I told him I would go grab some food and then he would have to come back out and empty out the rest of the car.

Although it didn't take long to complete the task of getting breakfast, the fact that it wasn't in my schedule distracted me from what I had planned. Lately, I have tried to stick to a stricter schedule because I have a lot of activities coming up this month, but it just isn't working out like I had planned. Oh heck, until I can get the kids out of the house and whack my husband over the head with my cane each time he pulls a task out of his hat, I guess I will pick up that wrench and put it in my back pocket.

Where are you looking?

Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up.
— Jesse Jackson

OK, I admit I think I was pretty geeky in high school. I read a lot and got good grades. I also was known by everyone in school as well. Why? Because I never looked down on anyone. I hung out with the band, the punkers, the jocks, the popular people, the nerds. You name the clique, I knew at least two people from it. When I hung out with someone it was because of who they were on the inside, not on the outside.

Even when I went on to work I would hang out with a variety of people, except the group of girls I knew who never washed their hands after using the restroom. Variety is the spice of life. You never know the story behind a person's life, unless they tell you, that makes them who they are today. So why would you look down on them?

I know people in social settings tend to flock together with their own "groups", but it is always great to get out of your comfort zone and talk to someone who you would never regularly talk you. You never know what you can learn. I LOVE watching Beauty and the Geek. You will usually see the girls talking bad about the guys up front because why would they want to hang out with a geek? By the end of the show they realize that the guys aren't as bad as they thought.

Next time you come across someone you normally look down on, why not look up and see what you are missing.

Are you young or old?

The more one worries, the older one gets; the more one laughs, the younger one feels.
— Chinese proverb

Maybe the reason everyone thinks that I am younger than I am is because I laugh a lot. Just the other day my sister and I were cooking dinner for a family dinner and my mom, two sisters, and myself were standing around in the kitchen listening to the radio. We heard "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" come on and we all started singing and dancing to it. We were laughing and really enjoying ourselves.

I don't mind making a fool of myself from time to time. Now my kids will get embarrassed from time to time, but I don't care. If you can't laugh out loud, then how are you supposed to get through life? I can even sneak a dance in from time to time with my oldest son while he has the radio going in his room. Of course no one is looking because then that would not be cool, but we still enjoy ourselves.

The guys in my family all think that they are comedians, so they like to try their jokes on me. Sometimes I am laughing so hard that my eyes start to water. There are other times when something they say will set me off. Other people may not find it as funny as me, but I am the type of people who visualizes what is going on while people are explaining things to me so if I am getting this picture in my mind when they are talking to me, I can find some things pretty darn funny.

I don't mind telling people my age, which is 35, but I feel like I am 21 and holding because I enjoy life so much and what it has to offer. So if you ever find yourself in the same location as me as hear some goofball in the background, that is probably me laughing my head off at something funny someone told me. (As a hint for those attending the ICEA conference in October 2007, Jackie Farley will be a guest speaker. She is so hilarious, that you will be hearing me laughing hysterically when she gives her presentation.)

My advice to you is to stay young for as long as possible. Laugh more.

Are you lost?

Last night my mom was driving over to my house with my dad. Now earlier in the day I had given my mom directions, again, to drive over on the streets versus the freeway. I had repeated the instructions to her more than once. My dad fell asleep and during that time my mom proceeded to get lost. She spent two hours driving around in circles. Instead of pulling over and calling me when she first got lost so that I could guide her, she just kept driving around and around. Finally she called me and explained that she was lost. I told her to immediately pull over and tell me where she was. I told her to stay put and that I would go to where she was and she could then follow me back to my house. Of course we made it to my house with no problems, because I knew where I was going.

This got me thinking about some of the people I have come across who tell me that they are lost in their business. They are unsure where they are going and continue to go around in circles without really accomplishing much except using up their time and money and getting nowhere. My first response to them is to stop. If you don't know where you are going the first thing you need to do is get directions. You shouldn't ask just any person for directions, but you should ask someone who knows their way around. Once you have those directions, follow them closely. If you don't, you will end up lost again. Once you follow the directions, you should be headed on the right track to end up at your destination, which should be a successful business.

My husband hates to ask for directions, which is his prerogative, but we always end up taking longer to get to our destinations because he is so hard headed. Now on the other hand, I don't mind asking for help if I am lost. Why? I would rather put out the time or money at the beginning to get to where I am going correctly then waste my resources trying to figure it out on my own. It doesn't make me less of a person for asking, it just makes me a smarter person because I had the forethought to extend my hand out for help. People are willing to help you out, but you have to ask for it and you have to really want that help.

The next time you are headed somewhere, whether it is in your personal or business life, make sure you have directions and that you follow them or you might end up lost. Oh, and one more thing, enjoy the journey to your destination. That's always the fun part.

A positive outlook on things

Yesterday my husband and I were out in our garage doing a little spring cleaning. During that time, a few people took it upon themselves to break into our house and steal all of my oldest son's electronic toys, some of his clothes, and my husband's brand new 80 GB iPod that I had purchased for him last month. To say I was pissed off is an understatement. Did I want to string up whomever did it by their toes and make them suffer? You bet.

My son, being almost 15, tries to act hard and as if nothing bothers him. It broke my heart to see him crying and upset over the fact that some jerks decided to act in this manner. I went out and replaced his Xbox 360 and iPod, as well as my husband's iPod. Today we are going out to replenish his wardrobe. Unfortunately we thought that this could never happen to us and did not have insurance. Last night we purchased insurance for the next what if's.

As my husband and I were out yesterday to buy window locks and wood to block the sliding glass door, we went next door to Sam's Club to purchase the replacement items. As we were leaving, there was a gentleman outside the exit door selling See's Candy bars. My husband told the gentleman, "We were robbed today. Why not bring some goodness to our day." So we purchased a few bars of candy.

The gentleman started telling us that we can't always help the bad things that happen to us, but that God will never give us more than we can handle and there is a purpose for things happening the ways they do sometimes. I thanked him for the candy and his time and went on my way.

Although I couldn't change the fact that someone had come into my home and violated my peace of mind and the security of my home, I could change how I looked at the situation. I could have chosen to dwell on it and build up hate, anger, and all kinds of other feelings that would make my stomach churn and make me feel ill. I chose to set aside the events of the day and move on with life. My husband took my oldest son to the movies and the rest of us had pizza delivered and watched TV. OK, my daughter was on the phone with her boyfriend, but at least she was back to herself.

By looking at the positive side of things, such as no one was hurt, we can take these life lessons and build on them.

Do you bargin shop?

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.
— Franklin P. Jones

OK, I have to admit, I have used coupons in the past. Sunday mornings I would be up at the crack of dawn with my newspaper on my lap as I watched food cooking shows from my bed and clipped coupons. Then, on Tuesdays and Wednesdays I would spend my time going through the grocery ads to compare my coupons to their sales. I do have to brag a little though. I once had $300 worth of groceries in my cart and only paid $75 for them after all of my coupons and store card was used. Not bad, not bad. The thing though was that it took a lot of my time to compile my list for the week and sometimes I would buy things I may not have really needed just because they were a bargain.

How about some of you who visit garage sales and yard sales looking for the perfect bargain? My in-laws like checking them out. Although they didn't always buy something, there were times where they bought something and then didn't want it only to talk my husband into taking it. If it was a bargain they didn't use, what makes you think I wanted their bargain?

Many people get caught in the different specials that are offered at stores, restaurants, and many other places. If I think I am going into bargain frenzy, I stop and look at the item and wonder whether it really is something that I need or will use. I could walk out with free or highly discounted items all of the time, but I don't want to become a pack rat hoarding my bargains.

I keep a folder for coupons I think that I may use, such as a fast food coupon or a coupon from a retail store for something I was planning on buying. At the end of the week, if I haven't used it yet, it gets tossed. After all, if I didn't use it in that one week time frame, then I really didn't plan on using it in the first place. I do keep a small set, about 4-5, of coupons in my purse for stores that I may frequent. This way, if I decide last minute that I want to go there, the coupon is ready for me to use.

My advice to you is to do two things when out shopping. 1. Make a list and stick to it. Otherwise... 2. Resist.

How do you get creative?

My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living.
— Anais Nin

I have to admit that I am a very creative person. I love to make things for people, put parties together, cross stitch, and do so many different creative things. Even in my business I have been very creative, whether it has to do with solving a client's not so usual errand request, dealing with an unhappy customer, or even putting together my products I sell.

I have days where I sit at my desk thinking of things to write and my mind stalls. Then I start to think about something I saw, tasted, felt, touched and my living in that moment draws inspiration. Just the everyday things I experience could create some really great stories, although with my life, the real ones can sometimes seem unbelievable.

I have always told family and friends that if they were to put a camera in my home and follow my family around, people would watch and I could make lots of money. My youngest son has such a sharp wit and quizzical mind that sometimes my mouth hurts from laughing so hard. I think I could make lots of money writing about my daughter and her friends because their lives are just one big soap opera. My oldest son, well let's just say that I could right a behavioral book on what makes teenage boys just downright crazy. (That puberty is just killing me.)

Whether you are looking at ideas on what services to offer in your business, party ideas, or whatever other ideas you need, draw on what should inspire you the most...Life.

What are your priorities?

Sometimes we get caught up in this game we call life and then when it is time to finish the game we realize all of the spots on the game board that we missed. I have been extremely busy the last few months and have not had a lot of down time with the kids, even though we fit pieces in here and there each week.

My husband felt that we needed some more family time together, without their friends, so we headed down to Disneyland. We got there early and jumped on all kinds of rides. My youngest son and I jumped on the Mad Hatter Tea Cups and I spun us around until I couldn't get us to go any faster. We were laughing and having so much fun. My daughter and I hit up the tortilla factory and sourdough bread factory at Disney's California Adventure. I have been to both places many times, but each time is a different experience with the person you are with. I really enjoyed having my kids be the only priority for the day.

The song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Garth Brooks brings home your priorities. The chorus of the song says:

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

Our world as we know it is changing. Just look at the tragedy that hit Virginia Tech. We need to sit down and decide what we want to do and what we need to do. Find all of those things that can be delegated or outsourced and give them up so that we can take care of the things that are truly our priority. I have been saying "No" a lot more lately because I don't want to be tied down to things I don't want to do and have them take away from the things I want to do.

Like Tim McGraw says in his song "Live like you were dying." Whether your priority is making sure everyone eats together at the dinner table each night or being there when your little one attends their first day of kindergarten or saving enough money to purchase your first home, it is up to you to take care of those priorities.

What gifts have you received?

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons.
— Ruth Ann Schabacker

Every day that you are able to wake up is a gift in of itself. The rest of the day's gifts are just an added bonus. These gifts can be big or small, physical or intangible. These gifts can be something you have been waiting for or a complete surprise.

There was a movie premiere being promoted by a local radio station that I attended with my husband and daughter. My husband went up and was moving his rump to get prizes, and while my daughter and I were trying to hide from embarrassment, I have to admit we did get a good laugh and were able to enjoy a good movie together. The gift was time spent with family.

I was out yesterday and in a hurry to get a few things done. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to drive around in circles looking for a spot. As I pulled into the parking lot, there were several spots to choose from, which was a great gift to begin with, but then I was able to get one that was close to the door.

My kids have been home on and off with spring colds. My oldest was the only one home with me one day and I played hooky from work. We went and ate lunch at a local restaurant and I we talked about different things going on in his life. Considering that most teenagers run when they see their parents coming, it was a nice and refreshing gift I received that day.

My mom is a huge Doo Wop fan. She had mentioned to me a while back about some CD's that she had really wanted, but that they were close to $200 for the pack. I happened to see an infomercial about them. I ordered them this past weekend and she will have a wonderful gift in her mailbox shortly. There was no special reason for them. They were a 'just because' gift.

Look around you today and everyday. There are gifts everywhere for you. You just have to untie the ribbons.

What are your hopes and dreams?

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.
— Anne Lamott

Many people like to say, "Don't get your hopes up." I have always wondered why. Hope is what had guided me through many days when I was told that I couldn't do something. Every morning you get a new chance to do the right thing. Your hopes are what help guide you in the right direction.

People hope for many things: to win the lottery, to stick around long enough to see their grandchildren, to get through life without too many sick days, to find the perfect person to marry, to build their dream home, and the list can continue for years and years. Hope is that thing deep down in your heart that if nurtured enough with dreams and playing a fair game will grow and come to fruition.

My hope is for my children to become loving, responsible adults. By trying to do my best in raising them, my hope may just come true. I'll admit then when they were toddlers and now that they are teenagers I have my moments of doubt, but my overall feelings are that they are great kids trying to get through life and each compliment I receive only strengthens my hopes.

My mom's hope is to see all of her grandchildren graduate from high school. She has had several health issues, but we always push her to do the right thing when it comes to eating, taking her medication, and exercising so that her hopes see the dawn.

Don't let any of your hopes sit in the dark.

How do you spend your time?

It's how we spend our time here and now, that really matters. If you are fed up with the way you have come to interact with time, change it.--Marcia Wieder

Since we are given only one chance to spend the time we have in our time account, we need to spend it wisely. As babies, we spent most of our time sleeping or eating, but that was good enough for us. When we were toddlers and young children, our best use of time was playing with our friends or running around the neighborhood. I spent a lot of my time reading, which is a habit that has followed me through my life.

When we were pre-teens and teenagers, we wanted to spend our time getting out of homework, hanging out with our friends, and pretending that our parents didn't exist. (Parents are so embarrassing to be seen with as I am learning now from my own kids.)

Then we hit adulthood. Time doesn't seem to stop as it used to. Instead it seems to keep flying by. Pretty soon a year has passed before you know it, then five, then a decade, and then all of a sudden your kids are grown up and you wonder where time went. There were so many things you didn't get to do or that you were planning on doing, but now there is no time left.

With the hectic lifestyles created by technology and all that it affords, people have become fed up with time because there just isn't enough of it anymore. Everyone wants to squeeze in a few hours more into the day only to end up exhausted and have to start the cycle over the next day.

Outsourcing is a great word. I take advantage of it whenever and wherever I can. I have the grocery store deliver my groceries, I bank online, I have the Post Office send me my mailing supplies, I take advantage of the office supply stores shipping to my home what it is that I need, I have take out food delivered when I can, and the list could go on and on.

Why do I do this? So I can spend the time I would have used completing these tasks myself doing what I want to do and not what I need to do. That includes reading a new book, taking a nap, watching TV, taking the kids out, working on my business, and even just sitting there doing absolutely nothing.

People work long hours to be able to purchase things that they can't enjoy because their interaction with time does not mesh well. They need to change their ways, but many people are stuck in the mindset that they need to do everything themselves and don't want to look at outsourcing to help them out, whether it is in the form of an errand service, family helping out, or using the web to take care of things. They wait until something drastic happens in their lives for them to take a look at their priorities with time and for others it is too late.

Look at the 24 hours you have everyday and make changes so that your interactions with time really matter.

Do you need hand holding for everything?

As business owners, we do need some handholding, but we also need to learn how to survive on our own at some point. I recently was told about a situation where a person had expected extensive hand holding in order to get a certain portion of their business going and was upset at not receiving all of the attention they somehow felt they deserved. They took actions against the other person in very childish ways.

As grown ups, we sometimes don't get what we want or what we feel we deserve. This doesn't allow you to go out of your way to harm others or cause damage to their reputation or character. As business owners, we need to learn to take charge and take advantage of any information we come across.

For example, if you have been offered opportunities for training, take notes and listen. Don't just sit through the training and then expect your trainer or mentor to hold your hand afterwards because you won't take the initiative to use the information you learned and implement it. How do you expect to your business to be a success if you act this way?

I remember when I was first learning how to ride a bike. I was scared at first and wanted my dad to hold the back of my bike so I wouldn't fall. He let go and I fell down. I cried, but then I got back on my bike and kept trying until I was able to take off on my own. I listened to what my dad had told me to do and implemented the information. I learned how to ride that bike within 30 minutes.

In business, you will not always be able to implement everything you learn that fast, but you have to be able to get out there and try what you learned until you get it right. Just as a small child grows up holding their parent's hand until they reach the age of 18, they then need to let go and try to do things on their own.

If you have been holding someone's hand for too long, let go.

Are you a people pleaser?

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.
— Raymond Hull

Are you ones of those people who bends over backwards to please everyone? If you are, then you are shorting yourself. I try to always go the extra mile for my clients, but there is a line I draw. Why? There are always people who will be grateful for what you do for them and then there are others who just expect it.

Many people are afraid to say "No" when people ask them to do things. They don't want to be the one to disappoint someone else, but what about when you are disappointed? Most people pleasers suck it up and think that they will eventually be able to make everyone happy.

It is one thing to want to make sure your family, friends, and clients are happy, but it is definitely another thing when you allow people to walk all over you. I had a client who I had done everything I could to make her happy. I had forgiven her several times when she flaked on me, I tried to be accommodating to her schedule, and I finally got fed up.

One of my professors told me that it is OK to fire your clients if they are not contributing to your business. I am one of those types of people who does not like confrontations and I try to stay below the radar. I was really afraid to fire her. I felt bad that I might hurt her feelings. After two months I finally got up the nerve to fire her. Guess what? I didn't feel bad afterwards. Instead I felt relief.

I still will do little things here and there to make someone feel better, but I have learned my boundaries and where I will draw the line on pleasing people. What are your boundaries?

How to stay young!

I received this in an email and totally believe it's true.

1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches.)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And i f you have a f riend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

Lost time can never be found!

Do you forgive those that have wronged you?

Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.
— Harriet Nelson

I have had many times during my life where someone has wronged me. Some of these wrongs were small and others were bigger. I could spend the rest of my life holding on to my anger towards the person, but what good will that do me? Many people get physically sick over the bad feelings that they harbor towards others. And there are still others who take their bad feelings too far and end up in trouble.

When you are able to forgive someone, it lifts that weight off your shoulders. No one is asking you to forget what happened, but your heart only has so much room in it. If it is filled with bad feelings, then there is no room for the good feelings. If someone has committed a wrong against you that they can never be fully punished for, your being angry will not bring any more justice to you.

There will always be people in this world, family, friends, strangers, clients, and so on, who commit wrongs against people who have no remorse for what they did. You will find others who really are sorry for the actions they took and they try to make amends for those wrongs. Is it really your place to put judgment on them?

If you want a heart that is full of love and happiness, then you need to forgive.

What's your definition of success?

There is a gigantic difference between earning a great deal of money and being rich.
— Marlene Dietrich

When I was growing up my family was far from being rich. I remember eating mustard sandwiches when I was younger. However, we were rich in other things. My mom, two sisters, and I would stand up in the living room and sing songs from the South Pacific soundtrack and put on our own show. I set up my own library for everyone to check out my books, we had a grocery store in the kitchen, and my sister had a little tent that was our Post Office. We had fun playing and thought we were so cool. I was rich with love and family.

When I first started my business, and even to this day, I am asked, "How successful are you?" Yes, my business makes enough money that I can splurge on all kinds of fun stuff, but that is not being successful to me. I love the fact that I get to stay home with my kids and I get to travel on getaways with my family and that I am able to share my knowledge with others.

I get to enjoy my family and friends I have and the new acquaintances I make every month. I am receiving my college diploma in May at my graduation ceremony. One I didn't need, but that I take great pride in earning because of all of the wonderful knowledge I was taking in that I could share with others. I can control whether I get to sleep in all day or whether I am creating a new product for others.

I am rich and successful and it does not have anything to do with my bank account.

Multitasking is not always a good thing

Ok, I know we are all trying to get a million things done, but I learned recently that multitasking does not always work. I was driving out to a client's home to pick up some dry cleaning. I was sick with a cold so I should have known not to answer the phone while I was driving. Why? After listening to some woman ramble on about her business and where she wanted to take it, mind you she was not making any sense during our conversation, I started to hack up a lung.

So here I am driving along PCH, I have the phone in one hand, the steering wheel in the other, and I am trying to open up a bottle of something to drink because I am coughing really bad. I started to swerve because I was having trouble trying to open up the bottle and I am wishing she would just shut up and get off of the phone, but of course she keeps rambling on even after she hears me coughing horribly.

Needless to say I had to swerve back into my lane, put the drink between my legs and open it up that way, take a swig, and then tell her I had to go. I safely got to where I needed to go, but after that near miss I stopped answering the phone the rest of the day. Multitasking is only good for certain things, like putting a load of dishes on to wash while you are rushing to put a load of laundry on so you can get back to your show before the commercials end.

What lie are you telling yourself?

A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future.
— Anonymous

The biggest lie of all is "Everyone can do it!" The truth is that not everyone can do everything. If an Average Joe succeeds, suddenly every Average Joe thinks that they can do it too. The truth is that some will succeed and others won't. In the concierge and errand industry, not everyone who sets out to start their own business will be able to make a go of it. Why not? It is not necessarily about whether they have the money or not to. Rather, it is because not everyone has the skills or attitude to do so.

I have seen all kinds of people enter this industry. Those that are looking to make a quick buck, those wanting to stay home with their kids, those looking to get out of the rat race, those who have the personality and no skills, those that have the skills but the attitude is all wrong, and the list could go on and on. Some will succeed, while many others don't. It is heartbreaking for those that truly want to do this, but lack the training or skills necessary to really make it work.

In life, it is the same. My youngest son played flag football for the city this past fall. I had so much fun watching him play and watching him have fun himself. Whether he won or not was not a problem with me, but you could tell it was for many parents. The truth was, not all of those kids had the skill or attitude to win. My son, being one of the biggest boys on his team sure had the skills to win. He had a tiny kid shaking in his boots when he had to face my son at the line of scrimmage. But my son does not have that "take no prisoners" attitude. He was helping kids up when they fell, even if they were on the other team. He wouldn't make it past the first day of boot camp in the NFL if I was to send him there today. I don't want to start a lie today that will not hold up later in life, so I tell him it is all about having fun now.

I enjoy my Sudoku puzzles. Do I have the skills to complete the puzzles? Yes. Do I have the attitude to complete the puzzles? Yes. Am I the fastest person out there? No. Am I disappointed? No. The reason why? I already told myself the truth when I started. The fact of the matter is that there are probably tons of people out there who are able to complete their puzzles much quicker than I am able to.

When you are contemplating a business, a hobby, a job, or pretty much anything else in life, you need to evaluate what your skills and attitude are at that moment. You need to lay all of the facts out on the table. If you are honest with yourself, you may find that you really want to do it, but lack the skills. You may find that training will be what you need to get ahead or you may find that no matter how much training you get, you just will not be able to do it. You may find that you have years of experience that you have been building, but once you dig deep into what really needs to be done, you may realize that whatever it is may just not be your cup of tea or you may find that this is something you've been waiting to do for years.

If after analyzing everything you still lie to yourself right now, where will it take you in the future?

"Sorry" can be a hard word to say

Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift. — Margaret Lee Runbeck

For most people, saying that they are sorry for something gone wrong can be one of the hardest things to do. You know that feeling you get when the word is stuck right there in your throat and you want to say it, but it just doesn't want to come out. Everyone likes to feel that they are right. For you to be wrong and then have to admit to it to someone other than yourself can really get to some people.

I was watching ER the other night and this gentleman, Mr. Ames, had one of the doctors on the roof of his home with a gun pointed at him. The doctor had messed up and now the guy couldn't use his left arm, his wife left him, he lost his home; his whole world was just falling apart. All he had really wanted from the doctor was an apology. The doctor finally admitted he was wrong and the guy seemed to be at peace with that, yet he killed himself after that. That was an extreme case, but you could tell the difference in Mr. Ames' face after those three words were said.

If you are running a business, you have to learn the word "sorry" and use it. If you were running late, the client received the wrong item, you forgot to do something, or whatever else it was, accept responsibility. A person is more willing to give your company a second chance if you accept responsibility and apologize to them. Obviously if you take your apology a step further it raises that chance of a customer returning even higher.

I have stuck my foot in my mouth on plenty of occasions, both personally and professionally. It feels a little unpleasant at the moment, but I do tend to feel better about the situation once I have offered an apology to someone. It also helps to be sincere when using the big "S" word.

We teach our children that they should say they are sorry whenever they do something wrong to someone else, yet as adults it is harder for us to do the same thing. Apologizing does not make you less of a person; in fact it makes you more human. As humans we are not perfect so that means that we make mistakes. Apologize for them.

What do you live for?

What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
— George Eliot

I have to admit that as the owner of an errand and concierge service that my main duty is to make someone's life less difficult. But what about outside of the job? What do you do for others?

For me, I try to say "Please" and "Thank you" as often as possible. If you have your blinker on and I see you struggling to get over, I let you in. If I am in a restroom and I notice that the lady behind me looks like she is about to wet herself, I let her go in front. If I am in public and notice that you are elderly, disabled, or it looks like you are having difficulty manuvering the door, I hold it open for you. All of these acts help to make someone else's life less difficult.

What about in your business? Do you do things to make life less difficult for your customers? Little things and big things all count. It could be taking credit cards as payment. It could be staying open a little longer for that client who really needs your last minute help. It could be that thank you card you leave for your client after you have finished a house or pet sitting assignment. It could be calling to check in on a client who isn't feeling well.

For my husband and children I make sure that they get up in the morning for their activities, I hand over my money so that they can do the things that they like to do, I make sure that they have clothes on their back and food to fill their bellies. Ok, I have also been known to help with homework a time or two. I accomodate their schedules even when it interfers with mine. I do this to make their lives as easy as possible.

Life in general is difficult. Instead of adding to life's difficulties, why not take action to subtract one of those difficulties when you can. This includes your life as well.

Can you move forward?

I watch the TV show Men in Trees. I have to admit that I love when Marin Frist asks questions on her radio show that pertain to what is going on in the show and her advice at the end of each show.

Her latest piece of advice was "Sometimes in order to move forward you have to stop looking back. It is always tempting to stick with what is safe, what is comfortable... You might never feel ready to ... move on, but you have to because that is how we grow and growing is what it is all about."

I talk with clients on a weekly basis who are still stuck at first base. They tell me that they have all of their forms ready, they have received their business license, they have their marketing materials in place, and all of their other ducks in a row, yet they haven’t started their business yet. They are frozen to their seat and unable to get up and take the first step. I always ask them what is holding them back. Their answer? Fear.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fear means an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation. It implies anxiety and usually loss of courage, such as fear of the unknown. Of course it is scary to get out there and start your own business. I was so scared when I first was starting that I kept dragging my feet about. Finally someone told me “Just get out there or your business will never be a success.” I had my own anxieties. “What if no one wants my services?” “What if everyone says I am charging too much?” “What if I don’t do it right?” So many What If’s and no actual movement on my part.

I decided to finally take the plunge. Every time I would go out to talk to someone about my business my hands would get clammy and I would start to breathe a little harder, but as I kept talking to people and got my speech down, things got easier. I was able to talk to people with a genuine smile without that feeling of anxiety. I got my first client and then the anxiety started back up. Once I was able to get through a few errands for him, my anxiety level started to come down a little bit.

I have learned many lessons along the way. Some I have liked and others I didn’t. But that is what built me up to be a stronger person. Sure I have had people reject my services along the way, but I realized that it wasn’t me personally that they were rejecting, but my business at that point in time. Even after all of the years I have been in business, I still have twinges of anxiety when meeting a new corporate client or launching a new product or service, but if I didn’t get a little anxious it would make life boring for me.

It takes a lot of work to make a go of a business, regardless of the industry someone is in. Find support that will help you move forward. It could be books, seminars, classes at the local college, a friend’s shoulder to cry on, a mentor program, or a group of business owners that you can set up to cheer you on.

As humans we grow physically from infants to adults. As business owners we need to grow mentally and expand outside of the safe, comfortable box we have created for ourselves. This is the only way we can succeed.

A little vino for the harried mom?

This morning I was watching The Today Show and they had a segment about mothers who break out the wine while their kids are over for a play date. Who in their right minds mixes wine and sandboxes? During the segment I was appalled to see wine glasses sitting on different playground equipment in the background and a bottle of wine chilling on the patio table while a little girl was sitting there drawing.

The woman they were interviewing even had the nerve to say something along the lines of, "Well for those that can go 15, 16, 17 hours with their kids and be sober, I want to see if they are a good mother." Basically she was telling America that you need to drink to be a good parent. I personally think that I am a good mother and I honestly don't need a drink to make it through the perils of motherhood like she does.

I understand about the whole socializing part, which trust me I needed to talk about more than Sesame Street and Bob the Builder at times, but why does alcohol have to be involved? Are you trying to tell me that you can't hold a conversation unless you are sloshing down some wine? In social settings, such as dinner or a party with other adults, I can understand if people drink, but why do you need to relax with wine when you are supposed to be making sure that Bobby doesn't fall off the slide or Susie isn't eating dog poop she found in the yard?

If you really are stressing out from having to raise your kids, why not have a Parents Social Hour where everyone meets somewhere and there are hired babysitters to keep an eye on the kids while you unwind with some cheese and wine?

I was reading the message boards regarding the show and someone had the audacity to say that it was ok to drink wine around your kids because wine tastes good, it helps you to relax, it is sophisticated, and it helps you teach your children about social drinking. I don't know about you, but why would you want to teach a toddler how to socially drink anyways? And who is trying to be sophisticated when they have baby drool sliding down their shirt?

Having a drink to unwind is fine, but be sensible when and where you are doing it.

I hate time zones!

I feel that that they should create a Time Zones for Dummies book, including a pull out map of the world that already has the time zones in place. Apparently some people just pick up their phone and start dialing without even thinking about what time zone the other person is in. If you are calling your mother down the road, no problem, but if you are calling another person for business reasons and they are not located in your state, then you should think it through.

For example, this morning I received a business call at 6 am. Not only did I feel my heart beat faster the first time they called and woke me up out of a sound sleep, but within a fifteen minute time period they called three more times and left two messages. To be quite honest, I am sleeping at 6 am. I don't know about you, but I can get cranky if I have to wake up before my alarm clock, especially when the person is a continuous caller and I then cannot get back to sleep.

Ok, you call me at 5 am one time, I chalk it up to forgetting about the time zone. If you continue to call me every minute and I haven't answered your call it means one of three things. One, I am on the other line with someone. If you leave a message I swear I will return your call. Two, I am sleeping. Three, you have called me more than once before 8 am Pacific Standard Time and have made me mad. Do number three and I promise you that you will be the last call of the day. If I look at my clock and realize that it is past 6 pm your time, being the nice person that I am, I will not return your call until the next morning.

I have to put together monthly chats that include international members. I take the time to look online at the different world time zones so that I can include as many people as possible without them having to be up at some gosh awful hour in the middle of the night.

Since I do not have the power to adjust the time zones so that they are all the same, all I ask of you is that you pay attention to the number you are calling and where they are located the next time you get up bright and early to take care of phone calls first thing in the morning.

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.

This quote is from Auguste Rodin. I have to admit that this is very true. I make mistakes every day of my life. Some big, some small. What I try to do is take something from that experience and apply it to my life, my work, and my family.

Although I have three children, who range in age from 9 to 14, I still learn new things about how to take care of them. What may have worked for my oldest does not necessarily work for my youngest. Some boo boo's I made with my middle one have not been passed on to my youngest. I also have fun learning from my children and my husband. Although this baby making machine has hit the "stop" switch, I can take these lessons to heart and use them with my grandchildren, far, far in the future.

Would you believe I have also made mistakes with my business? I know, you're probably thinking "Really, I would never expect that of her", but yes I have to admit it. I have learned and continue to learn and apply these changes. I used to not charge for shipping, waaaaay back in the day, when I first started selling my products. Then I realized that I was taking money out of my own pocket. That practice stopped after about one year.

When I first started my errand service I used to offer free advice to anyone that wanted it. I didn't mind doing so, but the time it took to do so was not helping me grow my business. I had an Aha! moment. Why not create a book and other products and sell them. At least I would be compensated for my time instead of working for nothing.

My husband has definitely not taken this quote to heart when it comes to cars, although he is getting better. We have gone through more cars than the amount of years we have been married, and let me tell you it seems a lot longer than the 15 years we have been married. We nag and bother each other, but what we do for 23 hours out of the day if we didn't.

My youngest son has learned that you do not place metal or paper into the microwave when he tried to set it on fire two times recently. My husband had to run into the kitchen to save the kitchen. After making him clean the mess and telling him that he would have to live in the garage if he burned down our home, he has taken our advice to heart. Plus, it doesn't hurt that I have pictures taped to the cupboard above the microwave showing him the things not to place in there with a huge red X over them.

Oh, I have also learned that when you are backing up in your husband's truck and hit a branch and it puts a dent in the back of the truck, to blame it on him and continue to do so years after the fact. Tell him that it must have been one of those times he was in a hurry to back up and wasn't paying attention and he didn't realize what happened until after he looked at his truck several days later. I am not saying that I did this exactly, but that this is an experience that can be learned from.

Take your experiences in life and learn from them so that they do not become a waste of time.

Open the door for someone and your heart

Have you ever been out somewhere and seen someone struggling with packages, a wheelchair, their small children, or even a door and watched as people passed them by left and right without a passing glance? I have every day.

I happened to be at the Post Office yesterday and I was pulling into a parking spot I noticed that a woman in a van who had pulled into the spot next to me had parked and gotten out of her car to help a woman two spots over who was struggling with several packages that she could hardly carry to into the Post Office.

A couple of days after Christmas I happened to be in Michael's Craft Store. As I was at the register I could see a woman a couple of spots behind me in line struggling with her items she was going to purchase. She hadn't gotten a cart because she thought she was only going to grab a thing or two. I had prepared and grabbed a cart. The lady in front of her and behind her kept picking up little boxes she kept dropping. I emptied my basket before I reached the cash register, since I could pile everything into my two hands and offered her my cart. Even though no one was obligated to help her out, we all felt it was the right thing to do.

I went to dinner last night with my husband and youngest son and the little boys in front of me opened up the door so I could pass through. Each of the boys held a different door open. They didn’t have to, but they were trained well. I told each of them thank you.

Recently there was the news story about the gentleman who jumped on the tracks of the subway to save a man who was having a seizure. He didn't spend long thinking about doing it. He just did it. Although he is getting a hero's welcome everywhere, I am sure that was far from his mind when he gave of himself to someone else.

Not everyone will appreciate your gesture, as some act as if you are obligated to do so for them because they hold the special title of “I am the almighty something or other.” I would love to tell you what that something or other is, but I think you get the gist of what it would be.

The unappreciative are the ones that even if they don’t say a word or acknowledge your actions, you will know deep inside that you helped. All it takes it just a moment of your time to do something simple for someone and those that are truly thankful for what you did will not only appreciate it, but your heart will as well.